Strep

Lucas came down with strep throat last week. He woke up Thursday morning with a severely swollen lymph node in his neck so I took him to the ER at about 7 AM. My intent was to go to work after. But when we found out it was strep, and my own throat hurt, as did Sammy’s and Thomas’. So I instead spent the day getting us all tested.

The rest of us were fine. We all just had colds. But Lucas was not fine and was put on Amoxicillin.

5 days later, Tuesday afternoon, he’s suddenly covered head to toe in a rash. The dreaded Amoxicillin rash is no joke. It’s pretty bad. And there isn’t much you can do for it.

We called the pediatrician and they gave us the thumbs up to stop the meds. We’re due to show up in their office in a few hours and they will determine the next step as far as antibiotics go. You can’t really just stop mid treatment. That’s how antibiotic resistant strains happen. So we’ll see.

Poor kid.

The Walking the Borderline Weekender

Walking the Borderline Blog BPD Borderline Personality Disorder

As of this past Wednesday, my baby sister is officially on the list for a liver transplant.  Which, when I heard the news I broke out sobbing and my husband thought it was bad news until I could choke the words out.

She is at the very top of the list for her blood type meaning it can all go fast.  In fact, and this is the horrible side of it, this weekend is one of the highest when it comes to mortality rates.  Meaning my sister very well could get her new liver this weekend.

Which is good because she’s going downhill fast.  Her kidneys are failing, she’s having trouble breathing, and she’s losing a lot of blood.  They are fighting to keep her going but she needs a liver asap or she won’t live long enough to get a transplant.

If you pray, please pray that the liver comes NOW and please also pray for the donor family.  They are losing someone they love, and that someone is giving my sister life.

Also, please be safe this holiday weekend.  I don’t want any of you to be the donor.

This week in my store:

Cute But Psycho T Shirt
Cute But Psycho T Shirt by Wearables4Edibles
Make your own custom tshirts online at Zazzle

Profits from my store go towards supporting my family.

Speaking of my store, you can find a link to the WTBL new items up along the top. It’ll take you here. I actually own the pink shirt. No joke, I love it! All items in the WTBL store are great ways to support the blog and my family at the same time!

 

In closing, this cute moment:

We can’t watch Netflix on our TV because we have no means, but our tv is tiny anyway, so it’s no big deal to just watch on the computer.  This becomes complicated, however, when the entire family wants to watch something.

So our solution last night was to pull a couch around to face my computer, pull my monitor to the edge of my desk, and snuggle close to watch.  This is how the boys and I watch Galaxy Quest last night.  It was the best way ever to watch a horribly cheesy movie.

 

The Walking the Borderline Weekender

Walking the Borderline Blog BPD Borderline Personality Disorder
I’m sitting here at 2AM on what is technically Saturday morning and my guaranteed weekly post is due to go live in 11 hours and I’ve got nothing.

Oh, I suppose I’ve got something but I spent 6 hours in the emergency room with my Lou-Lou Bear who had his first migraine headache today and it was a doosey. He’s ok. He’s sleeping now and has been for the past couple hours since he got home.

Meanwhile, I’m honestly not sure how I’m still awake. I think it’s just sheer acknowledgment that making it to bed requires energy I don’t currently have.

So this is my weekender. A tired sign-off for the week. A wishing of a happy holiday if you celebrate anything this particular time of year. A promise that I will figure out what I’m writing about this week between now and Tuesday. And finally, a promise I’m going to bed now.

Hope your week was bright, all. I promise mine could have been worse and I’m hanging in there.

Also: Happy birthday to my baby sister who made it to 28. May she make it to 29 and beyond.

How To Valentine: Who Says Those With BPD Can’t Feel Emotions, Is Clearly Wrong

Borderline Personality Disorder BPD and emotions

This story was written a week ago and scheduled for today.  The moon in question is what Pat calls a “Valentine moon” and he’s been watching for it for a long time.  Now on to our story.

Pat called me while out to tell me to look at the moon: big, low, full, white, and beautiful.  I went out to look and was taken away by it, but was also in awe how clear the sky is tonight.  As we have little light pollution, we can really see the sky out here.

I immediately gathered the kids, including Sammy who I wrapped in a blanket, and took them out to see it all.  Sammy is always asking me to show her the stars, but it’s almost always too cloudy, so I basically rose the boys on my way to my daughter.

Once we were out there, she loved it all but it was Lucas who piped up with new-found knowledge.  He admired the moon, then immediately pointed out Orion, complaining he couldn’t see the sword.  Then I turned around and pointed over the carport and sure enough, he immediately recognized one of the two dippers.  We couldn’t see enough to know which one.

Coming back in I set Sammy down so she could go back to bed and she pulled my attention square on her and thanked me for showing her the stars. (I’m honestly starting to tear up here.) And I got down on her level, wrapped her in my arms, and told her that, that was “what life was about”. And it is.  If you aren’t waking your kids to show them the view like what we had tonight, you’re doing it wrong.  I don’t care what time it is and if it’s a school night.  Wasting the view we had would have been a waste of a life.

Things That Made Me Chuckle This Week: BPD Patients Can Make Great Parents

Usually I can build these posts weeks ahead so I don’t forget and end up missing a week.  But lately, everything is starting to look redundant, and I have the sads, and I’ve actually been catching up on some reading.  So this week, instead of a Tumblr or Pinterest chuckle, I’m going to share what warmed my angry heart.

bpd and parenting

Someone got his first pair of glasses and looks super handsome in them, if I may say so myself.

Then one fine day, my head got a little diddy stuck in it, so I’ve decided to share the results.

                    bpd and parenting
Don’t let that look of innocence fool you. She is smarter than you and uses it for pure evil. PURE EVIL.
Huh. I feel like I should have a photo of my oldest here.

Would you like to see him scowl at the camera or simply glare at the camera?

Yeah. We’ll leave this post cheerful.

bpd and parenting

Ah, yes. An older one but I do love it so!

Validation and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

We all go through life hearing many things about ourselves.  Telling ourselves many things about ourselves.  These little facts.  These little truths.  These little half truths.  These little falsehoods.  These statements that shape how we see ourselves and how we feel about ourselves.  These words are adjectives.  And sadly, all too many are negative.

People will take the time to tell you that you are: annoying, stupid, ugly, fat, crazy, failing, etc.  Whether it’s actually true or not.  (We usually believe it either way.)

How often do people take the time to tell us the good, great, amazing things about ourselves?

Those adjectives, especially when meant, are called validation.

And validation is really fucking important.

I have decided to raise my kids on validation.  Oh, they are by no means perfect, as no one is, but they are still going to grow up hearing all the amazing things about themselves.  They need to know that in an imperfect existence is still beauty, that isn’t even hard to find.

Also, I am known for a temper that I take out on those I love, so they at least need me to counter that with a ton of validation.

So all three of my kids, whether they roll their eye or not, get a regular dose of validation.  Some days I even make them repeat it back.

You are smart.

You are pretty/handsome.

You are silly/witty.

You are special.

You are important.

You are loved.

You are valued.

Of course, that sometimes bites me in the ass.

Like the time Sambam wanted some treat or such there was only one of, meaning her brother would be left out on.  I informed her she wasn’t special (opps mom!)  She called me on it and informed me she was too special!  So I paused, took a deep breath, and agreed that yes, she was special, but no more or less special than her brothers.

Children with Borderline Parents
The Sun Shines Out Her Bum

Also, there was this gem from tonight that while vain, tells me she is at least listening.

Me: See you tomorrow baby!
Sam: See you tomorrow momma
Me: I love you!
Sam: I love you too
Me: You’re beautiful!
Sam: I know

It has to be noted that lack of validation in childhood and the young adult years can be a huge factor for someone developing Borderline Personality Disorder.  I can’t help but be aware of the gene pool my kids were born into, but I can counter it the best I can.