I’m Reading Archive

10 Books You Need To Stop Everything And Read NOW

Posted February 13, 2015 By kmarrs

Borderline Personality Disorder BPD Blog

I’m trying to be something on Buzzfeed to get practice at writing for a larger, broader audience. As such, I recently put this together.  Go read it?  It does list some of my favorite books!

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Currently Reading

Posted January 14, 2014 By kmarrs

Borderline Personality Disorder BPDI’m going to try to write one of these every week. First, it gets me writing. It gets me past any writers block with an easy post that doesn’t take a ton of time from school. Second, it holds me accountable for reading a book a week. Granted, some books really do take a long time to read even when I am keeping up on my reading. But unless the book I’m reporting on is 500+ pages, give me the stink eye if I report the same book two weeks in a row. Other weeks I might report on 3 books because each book alone was a 3 hour read.

As we speak it is 3:04 on what is to be Tuesday morning.  This post goes live in 7 hours.  A little less, really.  I am just now finally beginning A Separate Peace.  Which, I know.  But I’m hoping to have it nearly read by the time this goes live.  So cross your fingers for me?

I did manage to finish The Fitzgerald short stories!  It’s not that I didn’t like them, it’s just that every time I became invested in them, the story would end and I’d have to reinvest.  And not all the stories were as worthy of the investment as others.  So it was a long and drawn out read.  But I finally decided it was time I finished and finish I did!

The bible was on target but so confusing.  My mom asked what version I was reading and I didn’t have an answer but I think the version she’s handed me will be easier for a beginner reader.  I think after this week’s novel, which was last week’s novel, I’m going to get caught up on the bible.  Or at least try.  We shall see.

You are welcome to find me and friend me on Goodreads if you would like to see my read, to-read, and currently reading lists. It’s a great site for finding great books. And I love going to the library and pulling up my to-read list. I have also made both a list of books I own and a list of books I want to be sure to buy, which is very handy when I’m browsing Half Priced Books clearance shelves.

I have not been paid to promote anything with this post. The only thing I aim to promote is my love of reading and I have not been paid anything. Unless you want to pay me. Then you’re welcome to. Didn’t think so. *wink*

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Currently Reading

Posted January 7, 2014 By kmarrs

img_7378-stack-of-books-q75-1055x1740I’m going to try to write one of these every week.  First, it gets me writing.  It gets me past any writers block with an easy post that doesn’t take a ton of time from school.  Second, it holds me accountable for reading a book a week.  Granted, some books really do take a long time to read even when I am keeping up on my reading.  But unless the book I’m reporting on is 500+ pages, give me the stink eye if I report the same book two weeks in a row.  Other weeks I might report on 3 books because each book alone was a 3 hour read.

 

I’m a little bit each day, making my way through The Holy Bible.  I have an app on my phone that breaks it down for me so that as long as I stick to the program I’ll have it all read through by the end of the year.  We’ll see.  I imagine I’ll have some catch-up days.  But, I’m totally counting it as one of my books read this year towards my goal of 52.

I’m still slowly pouring over a collection of short stories by F. Scott Fitzgerald.  I need to get this book done by the 10th, is my goal.  I don’t even get to add it to my 2014 count because most of it got read in 2013.  I was hoping to have it done by the end of 2013.  But no such luck.  I got distracted.  That and I kept putting it aside to read other, amazing, books.

My real book for the week is A Separate Peace by John Knowles.  I’m not nearly far enough in to grant you an opinion.  I’ll offer that on next week’s reading update.

You are welcome to find me and friend me on Goodreads if you would like to see my read, to-read, and currently reading lists.  It’s a great site for finding great books.  And I love going to the library and pulling up my to-read list.  I have also made both a list of books I own and a list of books I want to be sure to buy, which is very handy when I’m browsing Half Priced Books clearance shelves.

I have not been paid to promote anything with this post.  The only thing I aim to promote is my love of reading and I have not been paid anything.  Unless you want to pay me.  Then you’re welcome to.  Didn’t think so. *wink*

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Borderline Personality Disorder BPDThe following is not a paid review, but I was given a free copy of the book and CD for the purpose of reading, enjoying and sharing my thoughts with you, my readers.  Everything I have to say is of my own opinion.  After years of people being convinced I should pitch scrap-book software and the likes to you all, I was honored to be approached with this offer.

Twenty-Six and a half years ago, Pat Engebrecht lost her daughter to Borderline Personality Disorder.  At the age of 29, after years of failed attempts, many hospital stays, struggles with sexuality and the loss of an eye from a police shooting to the face in a hospital parking lot, and a life lived with mental pain and anguish, LauraJo succeeded in taking her own life.  She had a life filled with success as she was an accomplished tennis star, writer, musician, artist, friend, daughter, sister.  But as we are all too aware, sometimes that isn’t enough.

Depression knows no reason.  You can’t tell the angry or sad voice in you that you have too much going well for you to be this hurt.  If it chooses to sink its claws in you, love is not always enough.

25, 30 years ago, BPD was only just emerging in the world of mental health diagnosis.  Too few saw it as a legitimate diagnosis and those who did simply didn’t know how to treat it.  30 years later, to be honest, we aren’t much better off.  Even with DBT and the latest medication there to offer, for all too many, BPD is a death sentence, and most of us are terminal.

Our own hands leave those floundering over our loss, wondering what went wrong.  Could they have done anything different?  What caused our mental anguish?  What were we thinking?

These days we have the online world of blogs to try to show the inner workings of our minds.  30 years ago, LauraJo had her journals.  What we put on public display, LauraJo kept locked up in a chest she crafted with her own hands.  It was 2 decades before her mother, Pat, could bear to open the journals and read them.  Inside was the inner workings of a suffering mind.  The ups and downs chronicled in painful detail.

Pat took those journals, added her thoughts and details of what was going on in her daughter’s life at the time of each entry, and created a book that she hopes, and I know, can make a difference.

I know in my heart that if LauraJo had lived to see the internet, she’d be fighting the fight of awareness and proper treatment, while helping to fight stigma, along with us.  However, we lost her 10 years too early.  In her place we have this beautiful work.

A book showing that despite popular opinions of her time and ours, BPD isn’t always a result of poor parenting.  A book showing mothers, fathers, and friends that their love was received, but the hurt went further than any amount of love could fix.  It shows those of us who might be contemplating suicide exact how those we love will be effected.  “No one will even miss me.  They’ll be better off without me.”  This book is 304 pages of evidence that we’ll always be missed, by all those we have touched with our lives, and no one is ever better off without us.

Pat took the pain of the loss of her amazing daughter, and used it to create a book that shows us how suicide effects all those left behind, how suicide can happen despite love and success, and the inner working of a troubled mind.

This book is not an easy read.  No book on the subject ever could be.  I had to read it in bits and pieces as my heart broke a little more with each page.  Broke for a daughter in so much pain with life, and a mother in pain with the loss of life that even she saw coming.  She fought so hard to keep her daughter with her, but reader and mother alike knew it was only a matter of time.

Please go get this book.  There is a CD of LauraJo’s music out there as well.  I recommend listening to the CD first and then during as a companion.

This book will move you.  This book will break your heart.  This book will show you what it’s really like.  It’s real.  It’s uncensored.  It has heart, hurt and loss.

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Calling All Readers And Parents of Readers

Posted April 29, 2013 By kmarrs

Mostly parents because it was a long time since we were grade school with our noses in books.  Though if you can remember back that far, by all means chime in!

I’m looking for books that my boys have to read!  I want book ideas for my nearly 10-year-old, whom reads at a 6th grade level, but has a 10-year-old’s interests, to read to himself, or with me.  Assume he’s reading it to himself, I may join in.  I can’t keep up with the rate he consumes though.

I’m looking for books to read to my 5-year-old.  He and I just finished up with The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.  He wanted to devour it faster than I could keep up with, meaning he isn’t afraid of a long book to have momma read.  I’m not looking for books to teach him to read with.  I’m looking for books I will read to him, and he’ll learn to see the story in his head.  Learn to follow along and understand what is going on.

And, if you have suggestions that will appeal to both and I can read them to both, by all means!

So, what do your kids aged 5-10 read?

What did you read?

I have some ideas on the to-read-list, but there is no such concept as too many books!

 

(On an unrelated note: Please join me this Tuesday evening at 8PM EST on twitter for my first ever #GeekParty!  If you follow that link it will pull everything with that hash-tag, allowing you to follow along even if you aren’t following all the party goers.  And as an added bonus, you can send tweets from that field and it’ll automatically include the party tag!  Everyone is welcome, invite a friend.  42 metaphysical geek points as a door prize for all!)

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I Don’t Have Photographic Evidence

Posted March 26, 2013 By kmarrs

Hippopotamus and the BloggessOn the 19th of March, my mom, sister and I piled into my mom’s car and drove.  Her GPS “Maddy” took us the scenic route past farms, cows, horses and trains, without an interstate in sight.  But we were in no hurry.  We gave ourselves 5 hours to make a 2 hour drive.

We got to the bookstore in Dayton with plenty of time, so we parked the car and decided we’d go into the bookstore to look around, and find out event details.

Around this time, I realized my husband had given me a 50 with the idea that he didn’t like me wondering so far from home without any sort of cash.  I sent him a quick note warning him he’d set me loose in a bookstore with cash.  He made it clear he had been aware longer than I had, of the situation, and that I would indeed owe him.

There was one survivor.  He goes by Washington.

Funny how all three of us bookworms didn’t really realize that the book signing in a book store would involve, you know, many, many books.  I think we blocked that part out in our quest.

Our quest to meet The Bloggess.

After we spent ourselves broke, we wandered to a nearby subway for an early dinner and then a few other shops to poke around.  But with only an hour and a half left before the signing started, we made our way back to the bookstore to find our place in line.  With a heads-up from the vixen Dawnie, I knew we needed to be there well in advance.  We were the second group in line, but it grew well before 6, when we could find seats.  By the time The Bloggess was presented at 7, it was standing room only.

We had front row seats.  Score!

The Dayton reading had the privilege to be the audience that was not allowed to witness a single curse word, as she read a chapter from her book.  So Jenny, in advance, set about finding the chapter with the fewest F-bombs, and friends.  The winning chapter had only 12 words that needed replaced with hippopotamus.  You heard me, hippopotamus.  But oh you should have heard her!

We laughed, we cried, we laughed some more.

Then we single file got to meet the Goddess that is the Bloggess and have her sign our books.  Our coveted books of inappropriate hilarity.  I was lucky enough to be able to have 2 copies signed.  I bought the paperback version for myself (with a new bonus chapter, yo!) and had my older hardback version signed for my good friend Lisa who was spending the day back in Columbus growing older.  No, seriously, it was her birthday.  When I mentioned this to Jenny, she was sure to wish her a happy birthday in writing.  Lisa is one lucky hippopotamus!

We are all very lucky hippopotamuses.  Not just that this book has been written by someone so very real and honest and inappropriately hilarious.

But that this single person could make it clear to all of us who are so very isolated and alone, that we are in fact one of millions and not so different after all, is something we all needed.  We aren’t the only one with chronic pain.  We aren’t the only one with crippling anxiety.  We aren’t the only one with depression so bad we can’t leave our bed for days if not weeks.  We aren’t the only one who has cut to feel something.  We aren’t the only one.  You, I, Jenny.  We are all so unique but in the ways we need to be the same, to not be alone, Jenny has made it clear we are a community.  She has given us that gift.

So we are very lucky hippopotami indeed!

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