On Blank Slates and Life Collages

As I have struggled over the past few weeks I have been guided to the simple fact that I get a life and personality reset.  A blank slate to build myself, find myself, and who I am.  I can wipe the slate of who I am clean and decide from this point on who I […]

Wait, What?!?! Psych Ward?!?!

So on the morning of September the 19th I reported to work at the hour of 7:45 as scheduled.  I helped open the vault, opened drive thru, processed night deposit bags, all as planned.  And I waited patiently until my boss had time to give me at 9. At 9 I sat my boss down […]

Top 10 Things You Can’t Truly Appreciate Until You’ve Spent A Week In A Psych Ward

1. Not having to choose between scalding and freezing water when showering.  Seriously, they want you showering daily as a sign of mental competence, but the water does not recognize that warm is an option.  I even love hot showers.  Really hot showers.  This was burning. 2. Bath towels larger than a hand towel.  I […]

Collection of Thought to Round Out the Week

#1 best thing about moving into an actual house in a month?  When I hear random stomping, pounding, banging, etc I will know 100% for sure it’s coming from my house and not the house connected to me house.  Currently listening to what sounds like a cat running back and forward above me.  There is […]

The First 9

I’ve had snippets of thought run through my head on what I could possibly say to really get across what I’m thinking and feeling.  But nothing seems to come close. I’ve been married for 9 years.  That’s almost 1/3 of my entire life.  Really, mostly all of my adult life. 9 years. There are people […]

I remembered

Day one hospital:1 orange sherbet lunch2 orange sherbet dinner Day two hospital:2 orange sherbet lunch4 orange sherbet dinner* Day three hospital:2 orange sherbet breakfast2 orange sherbet lunch2 orange sherbet dinner I had a thing for orange sherbet. *Bella and Rya had both ordered orange sherbet because I recommended it so highly they both took one […]

People in Places

I need to thank the people who came to visit me in the hospital. Pat and mom go without saying. Both made their support known loud and clear. Brenda I had the feeling would be there if I wanted her. As soon as I made it known I did, she made the trek up to […]

Day 5 – Memorial Hospital

I’m feeling very restless. I know I’m going home today. I’m scared something will mess it up and it won’t go smoothly. Pat brought me coloring books and crayons last night. I tried to sooth myself by coloring some. It worked for awhile. Not long enough though. I’m leaving them here for everyone else to […]

Day 4 – Memorial Hospital

I got a roommate in the middle of the night. I spoke to the nurse about why I’m here and my expectation and how the aren’t being met. She agreed with me that my expectations can’t be met here. We both agree that I’m better off going home. I’m hoping for today or tomorrow. The […]

Day 3 – Memorial Hospital

I’ve slept most of the morning. I was up long enough to eat breakfast, order lunch, and take my meds. Then I went back to sleep. I slept through the morning group, which I feel kinda bad about, but I needed the sleep. I woke up in time to talk to the medical doctor and […]