Guest Post


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I am looking to do a series of guest posts under this topic. If you would like to chime in, please by all means chime in with your 2 cents via email. All that I ask is that you keep it respectful. Here is response #2 to this challenge!

Author Bio – Audrey Porterman is the main researcher and writer for doctoralprograms.org. Her most recent accomplishment includes graduating from Ohio State, with a degree in business management. Her current focus for the site involves Computer Science PHDs and PHDs in Education Online.

Managing a psychiatric condition such as borderline personality disorder can be hard on the people who have it, as well as the people who love them. When you love someone with BPD, you just want to do whatever you can to make that person happy. However, it can be difficult to understand just how to do that.

While every person who has borderline personality disorder will deal with the condition differently and have different needs, there are a few universal things you can do to help someone with BPD to be happy. Here are a few ideas:

 Encourage Self-Worth
Those who suffer from borderline personality disorder experience a low and unstable self-image. They doubt their own worth, and they have a hard time accepting love from others. You can help a person with borderline personality disorder be happy by encouraging a sense of self-worth. Help them to see their own value and to recognize what they have to offer others. Emphasize their talents, the positive aspects of their personality, or other valuable aspects of their character.  

Help Them Feel Accepted
People with borderline personality disorder constantly worry about being rejected. In fact, many of their outbursts can be caused by hypervigilence to signs of real or perceived rejection. Help them to feel a sense of acceptance in your presence. Use calm, reassuring, and non-judgmental language. Find ways to show them that you accept them for who they are as a person, and that you are committed to helping them manage their disorder.  

Help Them Feel WantedShowing a person with borderline personality disorder love will go a long way toward making them happy. Many with BPD feel insecure and have trouble accepting that others care for them. Do what you can to show them that you do care, and you will help to ease this doubt. Show love by being a consistent presence, by minimizing criticisms, and by showing patience and acceptance.  

Accept that You Don’t Have Control
Though there are some things you can do to try to make someone with borderline personality disorder happy, you ultimately can’t make the person happy. You can help them to feel more accepted and loved, but you can’t instill a sense of happiness. Every person has to find his or her own happiness, and those with borderline personality disorder may have to get medication and professional counseling in order to do so. Influence the things you can and offer support for the person with BPD to get the help needed. Over time, you may be able to make that person a bit happier by helping them to feel loved and accepted.

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I am looking to do a series of guest posts around this topic.  It is ALWAYS open to your interpretation as long as it’s respectful.  I can’t wait to hear what you have to say.  In the meantime, here is guest post #1 on How to Make Someone With BPD Happy!  And I think she hit a home run!

Author Bio:-
This is a guest post by Coleen Torres.

Borderline personality disorder is not something that can be flipped on and off like a switch. In the same way, happiness and sadness cannot be overcome by anything you do or say. They are internal emotions, and thus are not controlled by outside forces. However, there are things you can do to encourage and uplift the BPD sufferer.

  1. Don’t expect perfection – Everyone has their good days and their bad days. BPD sufferers just have more intense versions of this. Don’t expect them to stay happy forever, or depressed forever. The more flexible you are in your thinking, the better off both of you will be.
  2. Validate – Being validated is one of the greatest feelings in the world. Validation means that someone is listening, understanding, and agreeing with what you are saying. It doesn’t necessarily mean you have to go along with everything the BPD sufferer says, in fact that’s harmful in the long run, but just don’t dismiss them because of their affliction. They are people, and they want to feel respected, just like you do.
  3. Don’t get discouraged – For someone that doesn’t suffer from BPD, it can be frustrating when you feel helpless. But don’t get discouraged. BPD is treatable, and can be controlled. Be patient in the bad times and enjoy the good times, but don’t get discouraged.
  4. Make sure their medication is right – You are not their doctor, so don’t tell them they need to change medication. However, if you see a pattern arising: long periods of depression or agitation, you may suggest that they get their medication checked out. Maybe they need a higher does, maybe they need to switch. But whatever you do, don’t tell them to take their pills. It’s not respectful of them as a person and certainly won’t change their behavior.
  5. Quality care – Last but not least, make sure (to the best of your abilities) that they are receiving proper care. There are good therapists and bad ones, and it is often difficult for patients to tell the difference. If you feel the BPD sufferer is not receiving the care they should, encourage them to seek alternate help.

You can’t change people, but you can encourage them. Just stay positive, set boundaries, and keep strong. A strong support system is the best medicine a BPD sufferer can have.

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I would like to do a serious on “How To Make Someone With BPD Happy”.  Which is of course, a daunting post to write.  Mostly because, we all know you can’t really make anyone happy.  Especially if they have something like BPD.  But I do feel that there are things you can do to aid the process that are universal such as: encourage them to seek help, be supportive through the process, etc.  And there are somethings that are person specific.  Taking me creeking at my favorite local creek is a good way to cheer me up.  Will it cure me of a really deep depressive?  No.  But it is still my own special brand of magic that soothes me.

The topic is open to interpretation and I want yours.  Anything from “dude that’s impossible” to “I know exactly how to get that smile!”  The post will have your name on it, a blurb about you, and a link to your own site.  Blog, twitter, whatever is yours.  Or not, if you prefer.

If you would like to submit a post, please email it to me at: kmarrs at walkingtheborderline dot com

Happy writing!

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Borderline personality disorder is a mental illness that, according to the National Institute of Mental Health, is considered a disorder of emotional regulation. Adults who suffer from borderline personality disorder or BPD, have severe issues with self-image, identity, controlling their moods and leading an everyday life with family and at work. BPD is thought to affect 2% of adults, and the majority of patients are female. Some doctors believe that patients first exhibit signs as teenagers, and because BPD is such a serious condition, it is best to identity the symptoms early. Below are the top 10 signs that your teen may be experiencing signs of borderline personality disorder, and that you should visit your doctor for an official diagnosis.

  1. They experienced abuse, neglect or abandonment as a young child. The National Institute of Mental Health reports that 40-71% of patients were sexually abused as children.
  2. Intense mood swings happen constantly. If you suspect that your child is depressed, he or she will exhibit a similar set of symptoms for weeks or months at a time. Patients with BPD suffer intense mood swings covering all kinds of emotions every few hours.
  3. They harm themselves. Self-injury is a common trait of people with BPD. They may cut themselves in an effort to deal with intense stress, anger, or just impulsive, intense feelings
  4. Drug or alcohol abuse. Sudden drug or alcohol abuse can also be a sign of developing BPD.
  5. Changes in long-term plans. Individuals with BPD may feel ambitious and optimistic at one time, making plans to attend college or start a new career, before suddenly abandoning those plans and feeling like they have no goals or prospects.
  6. They can’t stand to be alone. When a person with BPD feels like he or she has no support group, they may lash out by self-injury, drug abuse, or feeling negative and worthless.
  7. They find it difficult to maintain serious relationships. People with BPD find it difficult to feel attached to a person they love when that person is absent, making them feel guilty and worthless. Another sign of BPD is a person’s sudden switch from feeling loving and admiring of another person, to hateful or uninterested.
  8. Excessive spending. Impulsive behaviors like excessive spending can point to BPD.
  9. They suffer from another mental illness. BPD is thought to develop in conjunction with anxiety, bipolar disorder, substance abuse, or depression.
  10. They feel like no one understands them. While people with BPD feel like they need a support system on which to depend, they may also feel intensely alone and like no one understands them.

This post was contributed by Amber Hensley. She welcomes your feedback at AmberHensley1980@ yahoo.com