Finances and BPD Archive

Dark Place

Posted October 29, 2017 By kmarrs

I’m currently in a very dark place.  Money just got super tight.  Tighter than it’s been in a very long time and I’m terrified.

Plus school is currently kicking my ass.  Though my current class is about to be over.  I just have to watch a few more educational video, read one more chapter, and then write a paper.  Oh yeah.  And take a test worth 20% of my final grade.  *sigh*  I’m just super stressed.

After this class comes a management class.  I have not actually looked at it yet.  But it is the standard form.  No tests, just papers and most likely a group project.  I’m still at a point in my life where that is stressful, but it’s less stressful than this current class and I’m use to that format.  Most of the classes at my school don’t test.

After that class, which is 6 weeks long and ends December 12, I’ll have about 8 weeks off from classes.  That will be a much needed and welcomed break.  2 of those weeks will also be a vacation from work.  Won’t help the money situation any, but the entire university shuts down over the holidays, so I have no choice.  We’ll just have to make the best of it.  I do need the vacation, so that’s good at least.  I just hope the stress of losing more income, doesn’t outweigh the relaxation of a vacation.

So overall mental health wise… I have goals in life so I’m not actively suicidal.  But I would very much like to just curl up into a little ball and sleep until the world is a better and kinder place.

Also I miss my old cat that use to catch flies mid air and eat them.  I don’t… I can’t live with cats because they drive me crazy, but this fly is driving me crazier.  And it’s just… I’m already on the brink of a total mental breakdown, I don’t really need a fly pushing me over the edge.

But there you have it.

How can you help?

See the links to my books over in the left hand side?  Every little bit of additional income helps me out.  So consider purchasing one or both.  Alphabet Antics especially makes a great gift for the 2-5-year-old bracket.  That’s straight up money towards my rent and bills.  Never before has rent been in jeopardy, but starting now, it is.

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Administrative Assistant

Posted February 18, 2016 By kmarrs

Well, I’ve had my final interview and assuming I get a car sometime in the very near future, the job is mine!

To say I’m excited doesn’t even begin to cover it.  This is a step on the path towards my dream job.  Hell, it is my still-in-school dream job.  So yes, I’m very super excited.

I just need to get a car.  And that is proving to be more of a challenge than it should be.  The IRS is giving us a hassle so I might have to wait until my school money hits.  Which is fine, but that’s later than my projected start date.  I have no means of working until I have a car, and now I may not have a car until mid March.  I had told them, before the IRS hassle began, that I should be able to start by March 1.

I’m fairly certain I’m the only one that applied and I know the job is mine, but I’m not having an overly professional beginning and it would be within their right to take back the offer.

I just… I’m tired.  I want this job.  I need this job.  I need a car.

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Emergency Car Repairs

Posted May 12, 2015 By kmarrs

Borderline Personality DIsorder and Trouble with FinancesNow that I’m back on insurance, I’m back to reducing what stressors I can one-by-one.  And we’ve come upon a big one.  We’ve come upon me needing to beg for help.

Greetings,

My family car is in dire need of repairs.  We have just the one and the gas tank has a leak, the catalytic converter fell off, the muffler fell off, the front bumper is being held on by zip ties, and it could use standard maintenance like plugs, an oil change, tire replacement/alignment, etc.  We’ve discussed selling/junking it and getting a newer/better car, but we still owe $5,000 on it so we are sort of really stuck.  (Not to mention we wouldn’t get enough from the car to cover a newer/better on even without the loan.)

Now I’d like to introduce you to my household and our economic standing.  So that you can see why getting this car properly running will take a miracle.

My name is Karen and I’m disabled.  I have fibromyalgia, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, clinical depression, and general anxiety.  The federal government doesn’t feel I’m overly disabled, however, so they are not paying my SSI.  That is their choice and yes I’ve fought it, but at the time I couldn’t prove I’d be unable to work for a t least a year.  Whatever.  I started taking the time away from work to focus on my education.  When all is said and done I’ll have a Psy.D. and a mountain of debt.  However, I’ll have a career that I will love and will allow that debt to be manageable.  Then a month ago I found out that my sister has about a month to live if she doesn’t get a needed liver transplant.  Now I can’t even focus on school.  Most days I can’t get out of bed.  I’m too depressed, stressed, and there just aren’t enough spoons.  So I don’t even have left over financial aid to put towards the house bills.

My husband of 12 years, Pat, is legally disabled and we do have his SSI.  His income from it is steady, but it’s fixed.  It isn’t like he can work extra hours or pick up a second job.  His SSI is enough to cover most of our rent.

Our immediate family includes our 3 kids aged 3-11.  Healthy, beautiful, needing in nothing, not wanting for too much.  We give them just enough that they don’t feel poor, but not so much that we’re irresponsible with the budget.

Our household is completed with my brother-in-law, David.  David it also legally disabled and his SSI is almost enough to pay the bills, though we usually have to juggle things or borrow from my mom.  When I do get loan money, I’m able to pay the difference.  David, who is the healthiest of the three and wanting to work, is on the hunt for a job.  This will help the rest of the way with bills, help with the car payment, and allow a budget allotment for things like toilet paper, cleaning supplies, and other little necessities.

As you can see we are broke/poor as it is and not all of our needs get met.  Even after Dave gets a job, things will improve but our car is a ticking time bomb to possible literally explode on us, what with it dripping gasoline.  Not to mention we’re wasting gas from every fill-up.

But as it’s our only car, and the bus system out where we are is rubbish, we have little choice but to drive it.  Even if we’re only going to the grocery store, doctor appointments, and to the hospital to visit my dying sister, we need this car and we need it running.

So I’m literally begging for help.

I invite you to read more about me here: http://www.walkingtheborderline.com/

And to shop my store here:  http://www.zazzle.com/wearables4edibles.  I only get about 10% of each sale though, so if you want to directly support, and don’t mind not having something to show for it, donating directly to “GoFundMe” is the best bet.  I won’t turn away a new customer, however, as my store rocks and every bit counts always.

Thank you.

Those are the direct words from my GoFundMe page. Please take a moment, if you are able, to hop over there and maybe consider donating to a worthy cause? I’m desperate.

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Ads Follow Up

Posted February 3, 2015 By kmarrs

wormholeWell, the ads are here!  I don’t enjoy it, but I need to try to help support this family and every bit counts!

I still want to see you website listed as a text ad!  It will even go above the ad skyscraper over there!  Because in the game of advertisement, linking to your mental health blog (be it Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Autism, ADHD, ADD, OCD Schizophrenia, Depression, Anxiety, or anything else), art work, or even just your writing in general, is my top choice.

To encourage this I’m offering a deal of 50% off if you pay for 2 months in advance.  25% of for February only.  I think that 50% off will be ongoing.  So save up 50$ and buy March and April.  Anyway, all rates can be found on my Advertising Page.

Oh, and the ads will tune into what I talk about and personalize to that eventually.  Or.  they’ll personalize to you maybe.  I’m not sure.  These aren’t google based, so I’m betting they’ll tune into the blog.  Either way, they’ll be less generic that longer they are in place.

Meanwhile, in return to you I’m promising 3 new posts a week as long as I can keep it up.

  • Monday – Things that made me chuckle
  • Wednesday – Real Content
  • Friday – This week in my store

I am serious about trying to make some money through my store.  I don’t expect you guys to be my customers, though you are welcome to be.  There are generally millions of way to make sales over there.  In fact, my first one was totally random and from someone in Australia.  Maybe on of you?  Probably not.  It is a great shirt.  Either way, I am going to show off my goods at least, because I’m actually really proud of some of the ideas I’ve come up with.  I have spent countless hours seeing these ideas come to light and I’m super excited by it all.  Granted, I’ll be more excited when things really start selling.  But that will come.  (I’m being optimistic.  Don’t burst my bubble.)

But I sell a bit of everything now with all sorts of subject matter.  I’m selling:

  • shirts
  • watches
  • pillows
  • fabric
  • posters of my photography
  • key chains
  • cellphone cases
  • bumper stickers
  • blankets
  • (humorous/rude) maternity
  • engagement announcements

And the are covered in

  • owls
  • butterflies
  • cats
  • flowers
  • penguins

I’m always looking for fresh ideas though, so if you have them, set them free!

And yes, I have an entire section dedicated to pimping this blog.  But some of it’s pretty cool.  So if you’re over there anyway, give that section a peek?

Alright, so ads are here.  The store is growing MASSIVE.  And I have a heart wrenching post due to drop Wednesday.  I’ve been a busy girl, my friends.

And I hope we are all friends here.

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More, More, More: Money

Posted January 31, 2015 By kmarrs

Alright. As we are flat broke to the point of desperate, things are going to have to change around here some. I’m working through old posts and working in some better SEO where you won’t really notice anyway. Letting posts link to other posts where relevant, which is just smart. Oh. I’m also going to have to look hardcore at the options out there for paid ads. I prefer my readers be the ads, but as we’re all broke, I’m going to have to go with option 2 or 3. Probably not 4. I hear they are mostly porn.

Also, I have spent literally all day, like an 8 hour work day anyway, adding a ton of cute and fun products to my zazzle store. Yes, some of it is advertisement for this blog, but not even close to all of it. It might be worth checking out for Valentines gifts? Birthday gifts? Mother’s day gift? Spring babies? Here. I’ll show you a few new things to give you an idea of the gift giving possibilities.

See?!?

Tons of owls, flowers, and some great means of being a supportive and validating parent (which is my personal crusade.

Want to directly help me out and own some WTBL Swag to boot? These are priced to basically be a charitable donation to my electric bill, and still give you something solid to keep.

So the name of the game is to make money online through paid advertisement here, and by trying to sell pretty, silly, and cute things at my store.

Otherwise, carry on, my wayward internet friends.

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