#fiercelyhappy Archive

Christmas Miracle

Posted October 21, 2015 By kmarrs

Finances are worse than they’ve ever been for us before.  I honestly had no idea how we were going to pull off even a crappy Christmas much less a decent one.  But thankfully, I received my annual Christmas miracle: Amazon approved me for a credit line.  It’s nice because if you spend over $800, you aren’t paying interest for like 6 months, and I’ll be able to pay it off with the tax return no problem.  We’ve done this every year and it’s like the one credit card that’s never bit us in the ass.

So we got the kids taken care off.  I got something silly for my sister.  We bought a new tv because in 12 years of marriage we’ve never bought one and have been at the mercy of horrible hand-me-downs.  Plus the kids are getting a game system from Santa. (It’s actually a really cool retro system that has NES, Super NES, and Sega Genesis all in one.  So we also have kick ass games Pat and I grew up with incoming.)  And I got some supplies for the lizard while I was at it, because I needed the total up to get the special financing, but the kids don’t need the full lot spent on them.

So Christmas was saved.  And I’m done with my shopping for it, and it isn’t even Halloween.


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Posted October 19, 2015 By kmarrs

So in the past 2 weeks, I’ve taken 2 major tests.  One for stats and one for algebra.

In stats I managed a 97% that I’m very happy with.  My score for the class thus far is 98.26%.  I don’t see that shifting much.  I mean, it might go down a few point maybe, but in general I understand the material well enough.  So it’ll be stupid mistakes on tests that catch me up, if anything.

In stats I managed a 115/115.  Here is how that breaks down: 107 from the test, 2 points bonus (there was a bonus question on the test for extra credit) and 6 points “extra”.  So I had a feeling, but I emailed my professor about those 6 points, to see where they came from.  Well they, and I quote “came from [me]. Just say thanks and take a nap.”  Heh.  This professor and I have an interesting relationship.  She knows I’m openly trying really really hard and I am exhausted with the workload of 2 math classes.  She knows I’m being bullied by a classmate and used by the rest.  She herself is being bullied by the same bully.  She knows the bully is also cheating, but she can’t prove it.  I’m helping her there.  She knows I’m going to have to work my ass off to keep an A.  I was at a 90.17% before the test, but now I’m up to a 94.90%.  Honestly, I think she wanted to give me a perfect score because the entire class, in a not so friendly tone, was assuming I was getting it anyway.  I couldn’t be happier about that 100% if I had earned it the old-fashioned way.  Even so, it wasn’t handed over for nothing.  I did earn it.  Just not in the more obvious way.

I really could use that nap.  I only have half the homework load this week, thanks to the stats test being an in class test.  But I want to spend some time going over old material just to be sure I’ve really got it.  I’m not as confident as I’d like to be.  I did technically like 8 points, after all.


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The Fellowship (Not) Of The Ring

Posted October 9, 2015 By kmarrs

I maybe, probably, like 75+% certain, have a job starting in January!  Not that I was necessarily looking for a job but…

See, my algebra professor is head of the math department.  At least her part of the math department.  So on top of teaching duties she has a butt ton of administrative stuff.  And she basically works like 60+ hours a week and is doing her best but is only one person and she actually manages to keep all the balls in the air, but it exhausting.  It sounds exhausting.  She needs help.

I pointed this out to her Wednesday and suggested she could use a TA.  She agreed and said she could ask for one, but no one ever wants to TA mathematics.  Ever.

Uh.  I would.  Gladly.

So she and I talked it over.  I’ve given her my background, my education goals, my career goals, and it sounds like the only person who’d want the job, is a good fit.

It does have to be officially posted and technically I could have competition.  But that’s why I’m only 75% certain I have a job starting in January.

January?  Yeah, I have to not be her student before I can TA.

Technically it would be a work fellowship because I’m not a graduate student, but it’s still basically the same thing.

And it’s a paying gig.  I honestly didn’t know that when I volunteered.

My logic…

I can’t handle working and school right now.  I’m still too fragile.  But…

This would only be like 10-15 hours a week.  Basically if I have class on, say, Tuesday and Thursday nights, I’d go down at noon and work for 5 hours then go to class.  Maybe a third day if there is enough work.

I would not be interacting with people other than professors and maybe occasionally scheduling a meeting for her, so there is no stress of the general public.  Plus there are no sales goals or customer service surveys.

I’d basically be grading, typing, copying, hole punching, stapling, etc etc.  The busy work she can delegate.  She even suggested she might loan me out to other professors who need help.  So this could get maybe at some point closer to 20 hours a week.

But… this is the stuff I actually enjoy doing.  And I enjoy Dr. Latin.  She drives me crazy, she reminded me a lot of me without the mental health issues, but we mutually respect each other and it makes for some fun banter.

I think this would be a way for me to work without feeling like I’m working.  Plus it gets me out of the house.  Plus it’s a paycheck.

More importantly: I can start teaching as soon as I have a bachelor’s in some cases.  That’s me teaching in, oh, 5 years.  If I spend the next 5 years TAing for various professors, I’ll have tons of experience in the world of teaching, behind the scenes anyway, and my foot in the door at the university I see myself teaching at.  This is a great step in the right direction.

So, I’m super excited.  I really hope this works out.  Not just because it’s a job and that would be useful, but because this is a great step in the direction I want to go.

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Holy Hell

Posted August 17, 2015 By kmarrs

Borderline Personality Disorder and FriendshipIt worked!  I made a friend!

Let’s look back at my awesomeness:

Day 2:

OMG! So I went back today to get a soda and was able to have a normal, but low-key interaction with him where I came off more human and less awkward duck. He even greeted me by my first name which he had just learned yesterday.

Now to see if he brings up the book in a few days or so. I’m so curious if he’ll read it and share with me what it brought him.

Day 3

So day three of “this is why I have no friends”

I passed him a note after I bought my soda from him reading:

“This is cheesy but we’ve established I’m an awkward freak. Do you want to be friends? (xxx)xxx-xxxx -Karen”

Gah! Ball could not possibly be more in his court, between the book and now the note.

Day 3 Later I have a chime notifying me of a text message. Is it?


Oh god. I hope he doesn’t think I get less awkward.
Shit. Now I have to come up with stuff to talk about.

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Lack of Supervision

Posted July 6, 2015 By kmarrs

My husband walked into a pet store with a credit card someone stupidly sent him and no adult supervision.

We named her Cinnamon.

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Cinnamon likes to sleep in my lap.  Thus far.  I’m sure when she’s no longer 9 weeks old and closer to 9 months old, that will change.  It could change tomorrow.  But I pulled her out to take these pictures and she curled up to sleep in my lap while I put this all together so I’ll take what I can get.

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Published Author – Karen Marrs

Posted May 28, 2015 By kmarrs

I hate editing.  So the fact my memoir is in full edit mode, with nothing left to write, is painful.  So to actively avoid editing, I have been playing more Final Fantasy, I’ve been working on The Last Dwarf, and I sat down and wrote a little kid’s picture book in full.  I then tested how, exactly, self publishing works by publishing it.  I now know what I’d do differently next time.  But in the meantime I present you:

Found in Print and For the Kindle

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