You may have noticed I’ve switched to video blogging, or vlogging. This doesn’t mean I won’t still write sometimes, but I’m losing my hands and wrists to the fibro. Actually, I think it’s carpal tunnel, but my fibro certainly doesn’t help. I’m noticing more and more that it doesn’t take much typing before the pain sets in. So I like to try and save my typing for work and school.
Besides, I think my therapy with fish series is kind of fun. I promise I talk about more than just fish. I talk about life, while watching a fish tank. It’s actually really relaxing and I can just talk. I’m a lot less apt to censor myself since I don’t want to start the whole video over. I don’t do any video editing. So it’s full me uncensored. So yes, I recommend watching the videos.
I’m also about to start a DBT series. It starts out rough, but I hope to liven it up some as I go. I just need to shake my jitters out and get used to reading on video. Anyway, this series might prove helpful, maybe. Maybe not. I’m doing it anyway.
I know, it’s been a hot minute since I last posted. I blame upcoming tests, school projects, and general course work load, but there has also been some gaming in there. What can I say, it’s how I decompress.
And I’ve needed to decompress.
See last week, last Tuesday, I was on my way to class when my car’s steering column fell apart. While I was driving the car. Luckily I was in a parking lot going about 3 mph. Because if I’d been on the freeway like 15 minutes earlier, I would have died. That is no exaggeration.
So… That image just kind of sums up my, well, year. At least the past few weeks.
School is going well, except for the plan to make friends. If I get an A in the one class I’m going to have to fight for it tooth and nail. So that has me stressed. I mean it’s a good stress. The kind I thrive under. I’m also just still depressed and tired.
But it’ll work itself out, right? It will. I just need to hang in there.
I may have already said this, but I’m in a one-on-one DBT with my therapist. I’ve had to miss a couple of weeks thanks to the car, but we’ll pick up where we left off. It’s good to have a refresher on the skills. I’m also in a point in my life where I’m the most receptive to it. So yeah, that’s going well.
I guess… I’m doing what I need to do. I’m taking care of myself. So eventually this depression will lift. It has to.
Going to therapy lately has felt weird. Mostly because there isn’t anything really going on in my life, so I feel like there is nothing to talk about. There are no big issues, just the same old crap.
Last week I was proactive about that though. I thought back to the days when my therapist taught dbt, and I thought how my meds doctor wants me in dbt but realizes I can’t afford yet another weekly trip to that end of town.
So I compromised. I asked my therapist if she still has all the lesson plans from when she taught dbt, and if she’d be willing to have mini dbt with just me during our sessions. She does and she is.
So now once a week, I will have dbt with my therapist. I will relearn the old skills and I’ll strive to be better.
And of course the dbt lessons will allow room for the day-to-day crap that might come up and need worked out in therapy.
I’m excited. I think it was very wise minded of me to come up with this idea.
All the necessary dates we’ve been missing for this move are in.
Dad is out this coming Monday. June 11, to be exact.
We close June 29th. We have to be 100% out of our current apartment July 4th.
We were hoping to have the summer to move slowly but it isn’t going to happen that way.
This makes things more stressful but it’ll happen. We do just want to get it over with, after all.
I lose internet at some point between the 15th and the 4th. We are disconnecting here and being sure we are 100% square with the bill then reconnecting at the new place. I’ll let you know, closer to the point I actually lose it, the exact day it goes down.
As for the DBT series I’m planning. I don’t think starting it this Tuesday will work. First, long gap of space I won’t have internet to work on it. I can type them all now and schedule them out, but right now I need to focus on packing. There is a lot of crap to pack that needed to wait until we had confirmed dates.
So here is to the beginning of one of the most stressful months of recent times. Bare with me and stick around. Hopefully I’ll come out the other end happier and with a kick-ass series on DBT to premier!
Part of me wants to go through a full series of DBT. Not because I’m in crisis mode, but because I think a skills refresher will help me cope with and respond to the boys’ behavior better. Things remaining as they are could throw me into crisis mode. Easily.
Most of me knows that finding a DBT class that fits to my work schedule, especially if I pick up full-time status, won’t be easy.
So while I am going to make some phone calls to see what all my local options are, I’m going to self DBT as well.
I figure I have been through the class enough times that I do know it fairly well. In in my current rational mind, I should be able to go through each lesson on my own and brush up. That is basically what this is. I’ve taken the classes, now I just need to review my notes for the big test this week, so-to-speak.
I figure, while I’m at it, and to keep me on task, I will finish a task I started forever ago. At one point I was reviewing and semi-teaching each class here on my blog, one blog post at a time as I went through DBT in the real world. And I never finished it. Life was crazy, I was a mess, and I didn’t have the oomph to follow through. So, I should get on that. It’s well overdue.
I think I’m going to instill DBT Tuesday for awhile. I’ll go back and view the old posts and either pick up where I left up, or redo them. Probably redo. Since this is just as much for me, as it is for you, it won’t kill me to do this right by starting from lesson one.
So if all goes as planned, you can expect your first DBT lesson this coming Tuesday. The nice thing is, since I have mastered scheduling posts in advance, I can write them way ahead even, as time permits, instead of cranking them out on the spot.