Blogging About Blogging Opens Worm Holes You Know Archive

blog borderline personality disorderJust as I shared in post format, this site’s mission statement, I would like to reintroduce myself.  In the past 6 years I’ve seen readers come and go.  Some have been here from the start, but how many?  And how many people really click the about me link on a blog?  So here is an introduction to me, and if you are one of my regular readers, of a long time or a short time, I would like to invite you to introduce yourself in the comments.

I apologize now as this really is in the 3rd person.  That’s apparently how we bloggers do it.  We make it sound like someone else wrote it.  Yeah.  Like we’d let someone else write our own material.

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Karen has been married to the same man (Patrick or Pat) Since April of 2003. Her oldest son, Thomas, was born in July 2003, her youngest son, Lucas, was born in January 2008, and her baby girl, Samantha, was born in August 2011.

Karen is in remission from Borderline Personality Disorder. Which is like saying she’s recovered, but no matter how many positive thoughts you think, like cancer, you can never assume BPD is gone for good.

Or, you know, it’s back.

At her worse, Karen struggles to get out of bed, eat 3 meals a day, function as a mom and wife, hold a job, and simply keep up her life and dignity.

At her best Karen was a successful bank teller working her way up in her career with one of the top banks in the country. She was known through her branch and beyond as being dedicated, hard-working, dependable, creative, personable, reliable, and eager to succeed and help the branch to succeed as a team.

The Karen of 2007 and 2015 looks on in awe.

Karen’s full diagnosis list, none of which is currently in remission though it’s getting “better” is: Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar, Generalized Depression, Generalized Anxiety, and Fibromyalgia. There are a couple other things that could be mentioned but as they are not “official”, we’ll leave them off the list. It isn’t like that list is lacking.

Karen of 2015 is spending her life working on school and recovery, as well as being the person, mom, and wife she wants to be.  She is also trying to get a career as a freelance writer off the ground.  This will hopefully help add to the family income while she is unable to work outside the home.  Additionally, it will keep her writing skill sharp for when it’s time to write her dissertation as a grad student.

Karen is a geek and finds no shame in this. She games online, around a table, and live action. The 10th Doctor is her boyfriend, and he wouldn’t even need his TARDIS, just his brains, quirky personality, bemused grin, and luscious hair. Rawr! All of time and space would be a plus, though. Karen is a brown coat who wants to see Firefly brought back, hopelessly Sherlocked, and a lover of Captain Jack be he a pirate or the brains of Torchwood. She grew up watching Star Wars and Star Trek. The Next Generation will always hold a special place in her over-sized heart. The prequels 1-3 of the Star Wars franchise are an embarrassment to the industry. Sheldon Cooper is her personal hero, Leonard is her new best friend, and Penny is getting smarter by the Chinese dinner. Then one night, in the dead of winter, while Karen was on the brink of sleep, string theory suddenly made perfect, beautiful sense. Then in the excitement of her scientific discovery, she woke just enough to lose it all and has spent her days regretting this loss to the scientific community. But with hours spent reading quantum physics for fun, it will all come back. Finally, it should be noted: Roses are #ff0e0e, violets are #0000a5, and if you understood that, you’re a nerd too!

Karen will write anything that needs said, be it proper or not. She is a firm believer that life is not to be regretted but instead learned from, and if by sharing those personal life lessons here someone else can benefit, then that is all the drive Karen will ever need to keep writing!

And after all this time, she still maintains she’s difficult.

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What is Walking the Borderline All About?

Posted February 24, 2015 By kmarrs

Well, I’m reviving this place.  Shaking it up!  I’m working behind the scenes and in front of the scenes, and in some cases building the scenes.  All that to remember the main mission of this place.  It has not changed one bit in the 6 years this place has been up and running in its various states, and I don’t plan for my mission to change anytime soon.  Now, if you look up there at the top, you’ll see an about WTBL link.   It also holds the mission statement.  However, I don’t trust that it always gets clicked so I’m putting it right here where you can’t miss it.

Purpose Of Walking The Borderline:

This Blog is here to showcase what it’s like living with Borderline Personality Disorder. This blog is also here to entertain you and to give you a glimpse inside the inner workings of the illness. While I’m targeting people who have BPD and their loved ones, my main goal is to spread the word about this illness. I want it commonly known.

Borderline Personality Disorder BPD Blog

Are You My Target Audience?

Are you someone who has borderline personality disorder?

Family with someone with BPD?

Friends with someone with BPD?

Working with someone with BPD?

Curious about BPD?

Someone with any other mental illness?

The Types Of Posts You Can Expect

My entries can be directly divided into 3 groups. The first is direct research articles that I’ve written on various topics of importance to the illness. The second are stories of antics in my life that while personal, show directly how the illness affects me and those I live with. The third are random stories of the day-to-day nature that while they won’t be directly related to the illness, they will still show glimpses into my head.

Comment Policy

I invite and encourage any and all questions and comments. Including constructive criticism. However, 2 things will not be tolerated. “Get over it!” without serious advice on how to do so. As well as “You suck!” without a detailed explanation as to why you believe so. All comments are indeed moderated mostly for my benefit so that I don’t accidentally miss them.

Not Always PG, Never Family Friendly

Finally, keep in mind one thing. I will not censor myself on here. You’ll see me post things that you’d never dream anyone would make public knowledge. You’ll see me go off on rants where my language won’t be proper. Just keep in mind that this is indeed the truth behind BPD. Private isn’t always kept as such, and public isn’t always prim and proper.

Now sit back and enjoy the ride!

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Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) I did a fresh take on this subject over at BuzzFeed. It’s not too far from what is found around these parts, however maybe I worded it in such a way that it might resonate with someone? I don’t know, but you should go check it out and give it some love!

Why am I going crazy over there? If I get verified as having content worth paying attention to there, it might get noticed over here that I have content worth paying attention too. Which traffic for any site is good. HOWEVER if I can get enough traffic up here, I’ll look into setting up a community forum board for us. I want people to be able to create real friendships and give real advice in these parts. But I need to build the community first. The regular visitors.

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Borderline Personality Disorder BPD and patienceIt’s funny how much in life we take for granted. It’s always there whether we chose to acknowledge it or not. Hell, there may come a time in our life where we even hide from it, refuse to interact with it, because we’ve forgotten how.

Have you ever run a mental health blog? I have for some 6 and years now. It’s always been there. At times I wrote in it a few times a day, every day. At time I checked in a few times a week. There were times when it was a few times a month. That’s basically last year. God, what a year! I should have written like crazy, but I didn’t. I forgot how. Or the pain I had inside of me was too much.
I denied my mental health blog, because I was experiencing too much mental health. Yeah.

Dear God, I took it for granted last year. At any point I could open it up and do as I please with it. Alter it. Write in it. Delete it.
I couldn’t even delete it right now if I wanted to.

All I wanted to do was have an image automatically show up in each post. I didn’t care where as long as it wasn’t a manual process that could be forgotten. After hours of searching and trying out different plugins, I found one that was highly rated and looked promising. And so I installed it.

And then a white page showed up reading, wait I can copy and paste as I have to write in a word document since it’s still there….

Add Custom Header Images requires a page titled The Headers with images and WordPress v3.4 or greater.
Return to Plugins Page

Fatal error: Call to undefined function deactivate_plugins() in /home/content/03/3798603/html/wtbl2/wp-content/plugins/add-custom-header-images/add-custom-header-images.php on line 61

I was, uh, on the Plugins Page, btw. In fact I get that message on any page. Turns out, I have to go in and alter the ftp and completely delete that file. Research taught me this. Hours of attempts and further research also taught me that the only person that has the access, unless I’m granted access, is my tech guy who hosts my domain on his server. Of course, since shit broke at 10:35PM, well, it was after his office hours.

I was so frustrated through all this, with myself mostly, that I literally shook for about 4 hours straight.

At about 2AM I wrote a pleasant email telling him what I done fucked up and how it needed to be fixed and would he rather make me a fts sign in, or go in and fix it for me real fast. I suppose it comes down to what is fastest for him, because I’m now an expert at how to fix it, when and if I get the access.

I know he’ll get the email within the next hour when he wakes. I don’t know when he’ll get to it as it’s Monday morning and he has a family and a real job to tend to.

Meanwhile I’m going to sit here and continue to freak out semi-needlessly, until I get the highly anticipated email.

After all, the stage is up perfectly. It’s only back stage that is blocked off. And I have posts scheduled to drop 5 days a week through till the beginning of March. So really, we have a month to get this fixed.

However, I swear if you are reading this by the end of the day Monday February 9, 2015, I will never again take this blog for granted.

I’m not sure I can keep up at the pace I’m at, but I promise I’ll keep shit going.

I promise you baby, just come back to me! *sobs*

I feel so sick.

Edit: I got my dashboard back at 9PM. It was a quick fix once my tech got in there. I now have the access as well just in case.

P.S. That image in the header of each post is of my own design and my own coding to get it there. Fuck plugins.

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Ads: Part 3

Posted February 7, 2015 By kmarrs

wormholeI am (semi-obviously) trying out different advertising providers.  I am trying to find who will be the least annoying and yet most effective.  I imagine I’ll have to settle for that happy medium.  But please practice patience through this process.  Hopefully it isn’t too painful.  For reader or writer.

As promised I have tons of blog posts scheduled to drop.  Almost a month’s worth.  And I’m not limiting it to 3 per week.  It’s a full 5 with 3 of them being real content.

So hopefully my monetizing growing pains will be worth sticking around through?

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Ads Follow Up

Posted February 3, 2015 By kmarrs

wormholeWell, the ads are here!  I don’t enjoy it, but I need to try to help support this family and every bit counts!

I still want to see you website listed as a text ad!  It will even go above the ad skyscraper over there!  Because in the game of advertisement, linking to your mental health blog (be it Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Autism, ADHD, ADD, OCD Schizophrenia, Depression, Anxiety, or anything else), art work, or even just your writing in general, is my top choice.

To encourage this I’m offering a deal of 50% off if you pay for 2 months in advance.  25% of for February only.  I think that 50% off will be ongoing.  So save up 50$ and buy March and April.  Anyway, all rates can be found on my Advertising Page.

Oh, and the ads will tune into what I talk about and personalize to that eventually.  Or.  they’ll personalize to you maybe.  I’m not sure.  These aren’t google based, so I’m betting they’ll tune into the blog.  Either way, they’ll be less generic that longer they are in place.

Meanwhile, in return to you I’m promising 3 new posts a week as long as I can keep it up.

  • Monday – Things that made me chuckle
  • Wednesday – Real Content
  • Friday – This week in my store

I am serious about trying to make some money through my store.  I don’t expect you guys to be my customers, though you are welcome to be.  There are generally millions of way to make sales over there.  In fact, my first one was totally random and from someone in Australia.  Maybe on of you?  Probably not.  It is a great shirt.  Either way, I am going to show off my goods at least, because I’m actually really proud of some of the ideas I’ve come up with.  I have spent countless hours seeing these ideas come to light and I’m super excited by it all.  Granted, I’ll be more excited when things really start selling.  But that will come.  (I’m being optimistic.  Don’t burst my bubble.)

But I sell a bit of everything now with all sorts of subject matter.  I’m selling:

  • shirts
  • watches
  • pillows
  • fabric
  • posters of my photography
  • key chains
  • cellphone cases
  • bumper stickers
  • blankets
  • (humorous/rude) maternity
  • engagement announcements

And the are covered in

  • owls
  • butterflies
  • cats
  • flowers
  • penguins

I’m always looking for fresh ideas though, so if you have them, set them free!

And yes, I have an entire section dedicated to pimping this blog.  But some of it’s pretty cool.  So if you’re over there anyway, give that section a peek?

Alright, so ads are here.  The store is growing MASSIVE.  And I have a heart wrenching post due to drop Wednesday.  I’ve been a busy girl, my friends.

And I hope we are all friends here.

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