Pristiq

I haven’t been writing because I’ve been depressed. Not suicidal, not even close, but deeply depressed. I have no energy. Not desire to do anything that might require energy. I’m having to psyche myself up just to hold a book and read. For the first time in my life, I’m tempted by books on tape (I hate being read to) because they require less work. Holding a book and turning pages requires too much work. So yes. I’m depressed. Why? Because I’m depressed. How long have I been depressed? I’m not sure I ever stopped being depressed over the past while. I went to the hospital last year, as some readers might remember because my meds weren’t working anymore and I was suicidal. They changed my anti-depressant and I’ve been on that for, I dunno, like 6 months or so. I could look it up but that requires work, and it doesn’t really matter. Either way, I was on the new med long enough that if it was going to work, it would have. I didn’t. Plus Zoloft doesn’t up norepinephrine the way the Cymbalta did, so I lost what energy boost I had. These days I’m either asleep or tired/lethargic enough that I could be asleep easy, just give me a chance to get comfortable. I’m sleeping 12-20 hours a day. Only then am I almost functional. So clearly not only was a new anti-depressant needed, but I needed my norepinephrine boost back. So today was the day I saw my psychiatrist and we agreed it was time to try a new medication. Now I’m on Pristiq which is a name I struggle to take seriously. However, apparently, it’s a LOT like Cymbalta, which was my miracle drug for years, only different enough that it might work where Cymbalta stopped. So we’ll see. I’mma going to just keep chugging through and hope that something eventually helps. Alright, I’m going to go back to bed or something. I hope bed. Oh, I hope bed. It was a long day. Hopefully, by the time I’m feeling a little better, I’ll have job news to share. There is no current school news. I extended my break by six weeks so I can muck through this. It means pulling a double later, but it won’t be near as bad as hell term the last term. Alright, bed. I’m not proofing this post. I’m… Well, you’re getting what you’re getting and you done got it.

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