Look, the decision to leave the kids with Pat was impossible and yet obvious. I grieve not waking to their fighting and kissing them goodnight every night, but it was a decision that had to be made with logic and not emotion.
First, while I am biologically their mother, he has been their primary caregiver from day one. He knows them better than I do, he has attended to their needs more than I have. I would be taking them from the parent that has raised them.
Financially, he will get an increase in government aid this way that he wouldn’t otherwise get. This may well make the difference between a roof over his head or not.
What do I do, have them live with me then put them in daycare 6 days a week while I work?
No, they are right where they should be. My heart didn’t want to leave them with him, but it was sound, though painful, logic. I’ll see them all the time. Custody will be shared. He will never deny me access. It’s simply where they live.
It hurts like hell.
But the right thing is rarely easy and very rarely is the easy thing ever right.