I’ve spent all week so far telling people I see daily, one by one, what I did. I tell them as I find the breath, the power to get the words out. See, in comparison leaving Pat was easy. I wasn’t happy. I haven’t been happy. I was not going to ever get magically happy. So I put us both out of our misery. It’s the bit that follows that crushes my chest in, taking away my ability to breath. My ability to get the words out.
I didn’t just walk out on my husband. I walked out on my kids too. I will see them all the time, yes. But never again will I tuck them in every night and wake to them every morning.
I need to walk away from this post now. The rest will come. I just need time. It’ll come in bits and pieces as I find the power to move fingers across keyboard.