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The Words

love-and-DivorceI’ve spent all week so far telling people I see daily, one by one, what I did.  I tell them as I find the breath, the power to get the words out.  See, in comparison leaving Pat was easy.  I wasn’t happy.  I haven’t been happy.  I was not going to ever get magically happy.  So I put us both out of our misery.  It’s the bit that follows that crushes my chest in, taking away my ability to breath.  My ability to get the words out.

I didn’t just walk out on my husband.  I walked out on my kids too.  I will see them all the time, yes.  But never again will I tuck them in every night and wake to them every morning.

I need to walk away from this post now.  The rest will come.  I just need time.  It’ll come in bits and pieces as I find the power to move fingers across keyboard.

2 Comments

  1. Comment by Sid:

    I confess that I don’t understand when women leave their children, having never been in that situation, but I’m sure you had their best interests at heart, as well as your own, when you made your decision. I know things will be beyond difficult in the days, weeks and months ahead, but I hope you remember through it all that your children do love you no matter what.

  2. Comment by Michelle Willis:

    It’ll get easier as time goes on. You’ll still see them just as much so you haven’t really walked out on them. If you never saw them again that would be walking out on them. X

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