Archive for May, 2013

Dance of the Dragon

Posted May 31, 2013 By kmarrs

If I have my way, my say, Sammy won’t be the only one taking a class teaching poise and grace.  I hope to, around that same time if not sooner, get the boys in martial arts.

I don’t have a specific form in mind.  I’ll go with what impresses me, has a class schedule we can get to, and doesn’t cost an arm and a leg to attend.

Yes, I know all 3 kids in something has me looking at 200$, or so, a month.

My hope is that martial arts will teach the boys self-discipline, grace, coordination, focus, and listening skills.  And with it a sense of inner strength and self value.

Lucas, whom is set to be home schooled, will also find himself around other kids at least once a week.  I can’t stress how important this is.  When he is around other kids, as I saw today on a playdate I set up for him, he still parallel plays like his sister does.  Yet when his brother is finally home from a day at school, he is so grateful to finally have someone to play with.  The kid boggles me.  Either way, though, I do see that if he isn’t in school he won’t learn how to manage social interaction, whether he misses it or not.

They both could use the self-discipline.

Now to free up about 200$ a month from my budget.  I am, however, working on this.  I’m just not sure to what success.

Only time will tell.

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Blue Jean Baby

Posted May 30, 2013 By kmarrs

I want to put Sammy in ballet in a year or so.  I have no intentions of having her grow up to be a Prima Ballerina.  In fact, I’m planning on withdrawing her from classes once she reaches around first grade.  But I would love her to acquire a grace in those early years that I simply never had.  Never will have.  A grace that she’ll take into her later years.

If she hates it, I’ll make her finish whatever I’ve paid in advance for, and then she’s done.  I won’t be that mom.  At least not over something I plan to pull her from after a few years anyways.

If she has a natural gift and loves it, I’ll make it happen for her long-term.  Not what I want for her, but it isn’t about me.  I’m not that mom either.

If she uses this grace to become a soccer (or other sport) playing tomboy, then that will be what she takes from it.  I’ll gladly be that mom.

But really, my only real goal will be to give her a left foot and a right instead of two left feet.  A good sense of coordination.  A sense of self strength that comes from being the master of your own body.  Some sense of rhythm so she isn’t afraid to say yes when some boy asks her to dance would be nice too.

I just hope that if she takes it into her childhood, teenaged years, and even adulthood, that she’s healthy with it.  I need to know that she knows french fries can be OK in moderation.  That she isn’t starving herself to leap and fly higher.  And her worth isn’t tied to a dress size.

I know not all dancers are like that, but unfortunately those who are, are the ones you hear about.

 

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Life Can Smell Your Fear

Posted May 29, 2013 By kmarrs

I think life is about doing the things that scare you until they no longer scare you.  When was the last time you did something that scared you?  Did you do it again and again until fear was the last thing you could imagine feeling?

This year has been about crossing things off my to-do list for life.

I’m back in class.  I mean really back.  I’ve taken out loans.  If I stop going, that is all the sooner I have to pay that money back, with no degree to advance my career, to make is possible.

I sat down and wrote out a financial plan.  Some are just goals, like what year I hope to be off all government assistance by.  Some is actually dated such as going in and refinancing our car the first day of my vacation in July.  It’s almost ridiculous that taking control and making a plan could be scarier than floundering in the pools of broke, oh so broke.

This July I’m taking a 9-line zip line tour.  I can only imagine that my current “OMG WEEE!” will have the addition of “I’m going to DIE” once I’ve climbed up high, am strapped in, and it’s time to fly.

I’m boarding a plane in November to meet face-to-face a friend I’ve only ever known online.

While there I’m catching up with another friend I met in real life, who, depending on if she gets the job or not, might be able to help me rappel down the side of a skyscraper.

This year, I’m living.  And living can be some of the scariest shit there is.

So I have to ask, when was the last time you did something that scared you?  Will you comment and tell me about it?

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Yesterday’s Companion

Posted May 28, 2013 By kmarrs

I thought about posting this yesterday as well, but I didn’t want to imply that he died in service.  He was most certainly a vet who fought for our freedom.  But he outlived that war.

 

© KMarrs Photography (Me) – Rock Island National Cemetery, Rock Island Arsenal

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Silence

Posted May 27, 2013 By kmarrs

© KMarrs Photography (Me) – Rock Island National Cemetery, Rock Island Arsenal

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The Early Bird Catches The Worm

Posted May 24, 2013 By kmarrs

I’m trying to train myself to wake up every morning between 5:30 and 6. The idea being, maybe I can get shit done in those early morning hours before the house awakes. Having started school back up, every quiet moment I get is vital.

The major flaw is I’m known to hit the snooze, think 5 more minutes, and then pass back out, when I aim for early. And it turns out, that wasn’t the snooze. As it is, I have a series of 4 alarms every morning from the point of having to roll over and stir, right up until brush teeth and GO GO GO! (I assure that shower and dress fit in between nicely. The trick is going back to bed between the shower and dressing.)

Now, reading this you are probably assuming I’m always late to work. Aren’t you darling, bless your heart! Nope, I’m always early. Or at least on time. Which, to me, is another way of saying late.

It’s like my brain, even asleep, knows what time I have to be at work and what time it currently is as an alarm goes off.

But I want to beat the system. I may be able to get to work at 7:45 just as readily as I can 12:30, but I don’t want to push for time.

I want those precious moments in the morning where everyone sleeps and I rule to house and do as I please. And by, “as I please” I mean homework, dishes, blog work, etc. Free time is for those whom don’t have a career, 3 kids and a degree to achieve.

Slackers.

Guys, it’s in test phase, but I think I beat the system.

See, I ran out of Pandora time for my phone early this month and I needed a Plan B, so I installed the iHeart radio app on my droid. While looking around, I saw that it has a built-in alarm clock.

No shit, I can set the thing to go off at 5:30 (which is the very early range of my wish to get up early) and listen to it for a bit until I’m ready to move. I will, after all, never be capable of an alarm going off and me springing out of bed 30 seconds later. Well, maybe if I missed the first 3.

Sure enough, it goes off and relaxes me awake. The noise isn’t jarring so I don’t have the impulse to turn it off and make it go away, allowing me to fall right back asleep. (Snooze is for those awake enough to know what button to push.) Yet it is loud enough that I can’t start to tune it out.

So I spend 30 minutes listening to music while I slowly wake up and get ready to face the day.

As I said, we’re in test phase, but I have high hopes for this.

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