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Thawed

Everything I said the other day about standing out in the cold to reserve a pre-K seat, how I was #19 but it was all worth it he got in?

Yes.

Well.

About that.

Seems, that nobody bothered to mention the class was for 4-year-olds only… Oh they did go to great lengths to make sure you knew no 3-year-olds, but nothing was said about 5-year-olds who aren’t ready for kindergarten.

It wasn’t until days later when I went to fill out all the registration paperwork and we were discussing busing… See, even though his big brother comes from the same home and would be going to the same school, they are cutting the funding for the pre-K busing no exceptions.  Ironically, that was a huge reason we were choosing that pre-K, he’d be bussed.  So I mentioned that might be a deal breaker and I might just put him in the regular kindergarten instead.  She was confused.  I explained he was old enough for kindergarten but not ready, so I was putting him in pre-K instead since he only had one year of preschool under his belt.  And that’s the story of how person #21 on the waiting list just had their day made.  They were out in the cold from 4:30-8 AM, they deserve it.

While I was there, learning I couldn’t put him in their pre-K, I asked when the lottery opened and closed for regular K-12 so he could still go there, where his brother goes, but just be in kindergarten, and we could master letters over the summer.  Oh, that opened and closed in February.

And that’s the story of how I learned I have no place to place him next year with his brother at all.  Period.  End of discussion.

My choices are his current school, which is expensive and doesn’t seem to be effective for him (it’s him, not the school), another program with likely the same cost and results, or just homeschool the kid at least through Kindergarten.

OK, so we’ve discussed and discussed the idea of homeschooling all three kids.  With Thomas we decided the regular school was the best choice for him.  With Luke, I think his best bet might actually be at home.

Fact is, the kid has quirks.  He’s ADHD, showing signs of OCD, and there is also something else.  I don’t know what.  He’s 5.  But there is something there.  Tic based.  Mood based.  Something.  It’ll get figured out as he grows into it.  No immediate rush.  The main concern now is the ADHD and keeping him safe from himself and that’s being handled.  The rest can wait as long as it isn’t causing harm, and it’s not.

Either way we look at it, there is a mile long list of pros and cons for all the school options.  But unlike Thomas, I think Luke’s best bet when everything is measured out, is to keep him home.  Ohio has a wonderful homeschooling program.  He will be teacher led over a computer they provide, and it doesn’t have all that ridiculous testing that the federal government mandates.  Luke is more imagination/creative based and doesn’t do well with structure, so he won’t standardize test well.  That’s just setting him and his poor teachers being graded on his test results, up for failure.  Especially since he’s incredibly smart, but not in the format the US government would prefer.

So, we’re pretty set on giving it a try.  And come next January, we’ll take a long look at if it’s working.  If it isn’t, come next February we’ll lottery him into his brother’s school.  But if we’re right, and home is what’s best for him, then home he will stay through at least middle school if not all the way to graduation.

3 Comments

  1. Comment by aadrw:

    Hiya,

    I’m sure you already know this, but on the off chance, here you go. If kiddo’s ADHD, showing signs of OCD, and isn’t able to manage in another educational setting (“it’s not them, it’s him”), these are red flags in the special education world. It’s worth asking the school district for a full psycho-educational run down on him. It should include academic, psychological, mental health, and anything else that you’re at all concerned about (speech pragmatics, ability to negotiate a playground, whatever). Your family may choose to homeschool, or to enroll him in a private kinder, and only you know what will work best for him and you, but it’s the district’s obligation to put him in a kindergarten with the necessary supports he requires to succeed (which damn well includes a school bus). Cognitive behavioral therapy and a tightly structured day can do wonders for kids with ADHD, and if that’s what it takes for him to manage school (and the school to manage him) then they get to provide it.

    Wishing you all the best,
    D

    • Comment by kmarrs:

      I don’t think the ADHD is why he didn’t thrive in preschool, I honestly think he wasn’t challenged enough. He went in there knowing basic multiplication, therefor couldn’t take them seriously when they tried to teach him how to count. At the same time he gets stuck counting past 12. It’s a patience thing. As in, he has none for an inferior brain. lol

      He has a psychiatrist who is keeping tabs on him, though yes the school board could apply it to education. But honestly, I don’t want to IEP him if I can avoid it. And when he is medicated, I can avoid it. I was going to stick him in a regular class, the reason it didn’t happen that way is because I missed deadlines I didn’t realize where come and gone, and because of his age, not the mental curiosities. The strive for pre-K was because he’s only had 1 year of pre-school and just doesn’t seem to be quite ready to me.

      His mental health is a concern, always. But honestly, so is what the federal government is doing to the education system. I want my little engineer to be able to get excited about robots and spend his school day building his own and then programming it to carry off a hit on his older brother, and not having to worry about the latest standardized test out there.

      I have no doubts this kid is brilliant. But he’s brilliant in a way that won’t come across on a scantron, but will come across when he’s making millions on government projects you don’t have the clearance level to hear about.

      Yeah, don’t be surprised when this gets re-done as a blog post. I’ll add some length. But this is too important to get buried as a comment.

      hugs

    • Comment by kmarrs:

      It is worth noting his behavior in the classroom was spot on. They could manage him, just couldn’t teach him.

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