This was written on my phone. I will fix crap later.
I made the call myself between sessions asking if she’d call it in. Not battling anything major. Stress is piling on. Minor things in life adding up. Holidays and little sun coming soon. Figured I could use the help. Not thrilled to be on them but thrilled to be at a point in my life where I can logic this all out.
And while I’m not suicidal, I am to a point in my chronic pain where I can’t help but think if I am going to keep waking up in this much pain I’d almost rather not wake up at all. No I don’t even remotely want to end things. I just physically hurt that much. So maybe the meds can help me cope. Yes, I said that as casually as can be and meant it add such. It is fairly normal response to the pain as long as I continue to have no interest in doing anything other than push on through.
Anyway starting on the lowest possible dose of what I was on. Hope to be back off come spring when I get my sunshine back and life finds its routine again.