My Boy’s Best Friend
Thomas has a best friend.
I learned of this friend a couple of years ago, but didn’t know much about him. As this past school year began, I was waiting for a turn at a parent teacher meeting when I happened upon the best friend’s family. His mom knew me right away, I drew a blank. This isn’t unusual for me. Or her, actually. To my credit she knew me as Thomas’ mom so that implies there hadn’t been lengthy conversation prior to this introduction. And she’s queen of the PTA, as her own son, and now my son, has dubbed her, so she knew Thomas well.
Anyway, I got to know of her quickly and asked the boys’ teacher about their friendship (there are some punks who aren’t good to my lovin’ everyone boy) and made note I needed to get their contact information so that I could help encourage this friendship.
Months passed and I kept meaning to and meaning to…
When it was the night before the last day of school, and realization that I was about to spend 3 months listening to my oldest complain that he missed said friend hit, and I went crap.
So I wrote a letter. Realizing I didn’t even recall the momma’s name, other than Queen of the PTA, I made it clear that we needed to get the boys together and gave her a few ways to contact me. I told Thomas to give it to his friend and received confirmation from him that he had.
Then we waited a month with no word and my boy hurting and my heart sunk.
Finally I got a message on my voice mail earlier this week from her, frantic and apologetic it had taken so long. There had been a death, in a whole other state, and they had also lost the letter. Finally, once back in town, and after tearing the house apart, it was found and contact was made.
We talked back and forward over the week and had to cancel one possibility, much to Thomas’ dismay, but a playdate was set up and kept.
People, you know me. You know playdates aren’t my thing. Mostly because while my social anxiety isn’t as apparent as my husband’s, it’s still there. But this was my boy. And his first true blue best friend (that I didn’t want to punch in the face. I would never punch a child int he face. Doesn’t mean I won’t think about it.). And I did what I had to do. I packed him in the car, added his baby sister to the mix as an ice breaker, and we went to a stranger’s (to me) house and hung out for over 2 hours.
When we got there she was apologetic as she was building furniture that she’s started that AM and was expecting to have done long before we got there, but it didn’t work out that way. I realized she is real.
Then she told me she was building a bookcase because the 10 (possible exageration but not by much) she had could no longer contain her books. I realized she was my people.
She reads sci-fi and fantasy and anything really. I saw nothing but bare feet, great children, and well-loved home filled with warmth.
I think I may have found a mommy friend.
I also got to know her boy better. I saw her parent. I saw him friend. And I saw that this friendship between her boy and my boy will be good for them. Good for all of us. He is a well-behaved kid who respects himself, my son, and those around him older and younger. He has the spark of mischief all 9-year-old boys are meant to have, but he knows his limits and boundaries. And those boundaries won’t have him encouraging my kid to cause trouble in the bathroom just so he can rat him out. (Kindergarten. Different group of boys. Why I’m leery of school friends.)
Already we are planning the next get togethers. She’ll borrow my boy for the day in the next couple of weeks for a zoo trip. I’ll see if I can talk Pat (hey Pat!) into inviting him over for a slumber party some Saturday when my mom has Luke.
Most importantly we’re all of the opinion that the best entertainment is a house with toys, a yard to play in, and best friend who can help cause mischief and mayhem, all while well supervised and loved.
I also like that while they are highly (HIGHLY) religious, at no point did I feel like I was in danger of having my soul saved. But it does help shed light on the basis of their morals and values. (They are, to me, what Christianity should be about. Religious or not, I can dig that.)
I am really excited about this!