To Clarify

At this time, we are NOT stopping my appointments with my therapist and my psychiatrist.  We just took me of meds, life is a changing… ending those appointments would be dumb.  But they are being scaled back.  My meds appointments are in off-meds maintenance mode, I see her every other month.  Therapy is headed that way as well.

And someday, if after I don’t know how long, I continue to be in remission or even better they will be scaled back more.  And then some day after that, they will stop.  Because if I’m no longer showing signs of BPD, I’m no longer a danger to myself, I’m no longer on meds that need a script and maintenance visits, there will come a time where those appointments will just simply no longer be needed.

When?  I don’t know.  But that day is coming.

And hopefully it will be followed by a life of me never needing there services again.  But I can’t guarantee that.  No one can.  So I have to have a plan in place for should the need arrive and I need help fast.  Will there be a waiting list?  Depends on how much time has passed and how full their schedules are.  Also, I imagine, how bad of shape I’m in.  So I need to have the option of going to a general physician, sitting down and going, “Hey I know you aren’t equipped to treat BPD, but let’s start with the depression until I can get into someone who can take care of the rest.”

I also have to keep in the back of my mind that I am on the Schizophrenic spectrum.  I’m way down low at Schizotypal, but it can be progressive.  I in fact found out recently that my father has known about being Schizophrenic for a decade, whereas I could only assume he was.  I won’t start down THAT bitter path, but I do have to face facts that however large or small the chances, I may have worse than depression caused by a miserable pregnancy and sciatica in my future.

I need a medical team I can rely on and can only hope I don’t ever need to.  Not like I have needed to in the past.


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