I decided that if I was going to the trouble of counting calories, I might as well go all in and exercise too.  I mean, if nothing else, it will allow me that candy bar, am I right?  You know I’m right.

I’m not starting hardcore.  I don’t have it in me.  If I can’t do it in 10 minutes, in my living room, with my body being the only equipment needed, it isn’t happening.  I’d call this lazy if this wasn’t a huge step in the right direction.

It actually, started with me wondering if a certain yoga pose would help with my back aches.  And then while I was down there I figured I could also do some from my ass stretches.  Limbers me up for my real physical exercise exertion: sex. Because I can guarantee a candy bar has more calories than 10 minutes of stretching/yoga can burn.

I’ve got myself a 5-10 minute routine that I do 1-2 times a day.  The exact numbers are based on how sore my back is.  Because while this is aiming to help my back, it is totally killing me.  Not because the stretching is hard, but because my back is that messed up.

And it is actually working in the long run, in a it gets worse before it gets better, sort of way.  As I was getting into the position of my favorite pose last night, I had my back crack in 3 places all on it’s own.  The 3 places I was hoping would crack.  Now, 12 hours later it’s as if it never happened, mostly, but I have seen the light.

I’m also hoping that as my legs and back get use to this whole stretching thing, I can hold the poses longer and work my way into a 30 minute routine, 2 times a day.

Then come the days when I’m really feeling daring, and ashamed that I’m calling 5 minutes of stretching exercise, and I decide, fuck-it, I’m already on the floor, let’s throw in some crunches.  Worst good idea ever.  I mean, yeah it’s good for me and I might someday actually see the fruits of my labor.  But oh dear god am I out of shape.  So miserably out of shape.

Anyway, I’m slowly trying to add new stretches and simple no equipment needed exercises in.  I know a lot of options, but I’m not yet ready for most of them.  Getting into shape is kind of pointless if I die trying.

That said, should my body be found on the ground floor of my house, and there isn’t a mark on me, go ahead and assume it was the stomach crunches.  Pat and I are currently very happy so you are safe to assume it wasn’t him.

You’re welcome Pat!  I just removed you from the suspect list.  That’s love!

Or I just made it really convenient for you to get away with murder.