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One Year Ends and Another Begins

4.  Today, my youngest son, you turn 4.  I am not even sure what to say about that.  It feels like you have been 3 for a century now.  Most parents see the years flying by, and that has always been true.  Except this year.  This year has lasted a lifetime.  And now that we are at the end of it, I am so ready for it to be over.

The thing of it is, you are the full embodiment of 3 and redhead, in one small, temperamental package.  You can out curse a sailor, know no boundaries or limits set for you, and can explode better than any volcano.

But then I turn on classical music and your interpretive dance is unlike any other.  You know no shame or humiliation, and that is how dance should be.  You hug with the fierceness of the passion your personality is known for.  You love your little sister in a way that could inspire Aphrodite.  If anyone could love that baby to death, it would be you.

You are an inspiration of a big brother, which is the exact opposite of your goals as a little brother.  We need to work on that.  Though you are not alone in your faults there.

This year has been the year of the monster.  I want so desperately to be angry at your inability to consistently sleep in your own bed.  But the fear in your eyes is true and pathetic.  And my will is not strong.  I am you momma and as such it is my job to protect you, even if your own imagination is what you need protecting from.

This year will also be known as the year of the dog.  You fell in love with Max, got bitten by Max, and then had your heart broken more than anyone when Max could no longer live with us.  You’ve met a “pickle” dog and I will terminate anyone who corrects you in what type of dog that actually is.
For as big as you may be in size and wisdom, every so often your little, little boy shows through and when he does, I embrace him with all my being.  For you are my 4 year old and I love you with all that I am.

Here is to hoping the terror that is 3 is over and a step towards self control is taken.  But while I may wish away the passion to your temper, I hope the passion of your love never leaves you.  For that love, is what makes you my Lucas, and my Lucas is the fire in my heart.

5 Comments

  1. Comment by karen:

    Three is the hardest age known to (this) mom. >.< It near kilt me three times and I was not sorry to say goodbye to it forever last year. Four is such a great year of discovery, ability and triumph! And those are my wishes for your son … Happy birthday middle kid, from one middle kid to another!!!

  2. Comment by Paula Ruter:

    Happy birthday, Lucas!

  3. Comment by barb roy:

    I wrote a comment but looks like it didn't how up. Can't remember exactly what I wrote. Lucas is such a little sweety. It's nice he still likes to hug. When I was out there I asked for a hug & boy did I get one. Hope he had a great birthday. Glad he liked my card.

  4. Comment by sumit_y1:

    hiii, i can relate to u and I also feel the same way but since I m taking lithium 300mg with valproate 250 mg I feel better.you can discuss with ur doc just a suggestion but I know that ur doc will say that its too low, but in my case it worked.

  5. Comment by Walkingborder (Karen):

    I am actually currently off all meds due to being stable. But thanks.

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