Archive for December, 2011

12 Plus Hours Later.

Posted December 8, 2011 By kmarrs

Got to the hospital at 6.  OR at 7:30.  Was in the OR and alert for like 2 minutes when next thing I knew I was asleep.  I don’t remember any warning and count.  May not have been one.  I don’t care either way.  I didn’t need it.

Next thing I knew I was waking in the recovery room almost an hour later.  First words out of my mouth were asking if my husband had been told I was alright, when would he know I was awake, and when could he see me.  See, I wanted him, but he needed me.  Pat’s panic disorder was not handling my surgery well, no matter how minor or elective.  (Which I accept and understand.)  So I was very concerned for him to see me for himself as soon as possible.  I didn’t beg for him or annoy the nurses to bring him up because I knew they had procedure to follow, but I was proactive in getting him up there as soon as I was nearing ready to go, and I was not taking my time with that either.  I wasn’t yet in pain.  It didn’t matter if I could fully walk.  I drank what they gave me to show I was functional and then I was ready.

I passed out not too long after getting home and slept til maybe 1:15.

2ish was my first at home dose of pain meds.  I was hurting but not too bad.  It put me right back out.

5 I woke in a pain that made it evident the good stuff from the OR was out of my system and it was just me and my Lortab and Aleve.  Which, doesn’t work so awesome I found out at 6 when I took it.  It’s good stuff, my body just laughs at pain meds.

Tomorrow I’m either going to call and see what my options are for an upgrade or say fuck it, pop a Lunesta instead and sleep it off more deeply.

I did take 2 Lortab for my 10PM dose which is allowed.  I’d only been taking 1 to try and conserve them and because I’m not a max dose unless I need it sort of gal.  But I need it, if it will do the trick.

Also, all the other aches and pains I deal with day to day?  Still totally fucking there.  *sigh*

I really wish medicinal pot was legal.  I would indeed use it for pain control.  Also suppose to be great as an anti-anxiety and for BPD.  Hard to have rage issues while on pot.  But I’m going to wait til it’s legal before I act on that knowledge.  I’ll also discuss with work the consequences of me smoking even with a script.  A woman got fired in Washington (from a different company) for smoking pot even with a valid script.  Wasn’t smoking at work.  Wasn’t even coming to work high.  But couldn’t pass the drug test.  So I’ll cover my ass first.  I love this job and company too much not to.

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Quick Touch of the Base

Posted December 7, 2011 By kmarrs

As of this exact second, it is 5:15Am on December 7th and I have to be at the hospital in 45 minutes.

I will send out a tweet later this afternoon or so when I’m out of surgery and capable of tweeting anything close to a complete thought.

See you all later!

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Pages and Pages and Pages Oh My!

Posted December 4, 2011 By kmarrs

I am no longer linking from here to my personal profiles, with the exception of twitter.  If you want the personal snippets of my life, connect with me there.  Otherwise I have set up pages for the blog on both FB and Google Plus.  You are welcome to join me there!  Facebook is a simple like on the right.  Google Plus is here.

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Let It Be Known!

Posted December 1, 2011 By kmarrs

However many days in an actual bank with real money and today was the busiest, and so far I’ve only been off by a total of a penny!  I was over a penny today.  Knew I would be.  I ran out of pennies on hand and was about to get one from my coin vault but the guy said not to worry about it.  And no one cares about me being over a penny.  Except maybe me.  If I don’t know why I’m over.

I.  Rule.

Oh!  AND I LOVE MY JOB!

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Mayans VS 2012

Posted December 1, 2011 By kmarrs

So, one would think we’d have flying cars and a higher level of intelligence by now.  But instead we have backward robes and Jersey SHore.

If the Mayans foresaw this, no wonder they ended their calendar at 2012.  Some think it’s because of an apocalypse, but I personally think they just figured we’d have forgotten how to count by then.

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Hrmumslump

Posted December 1, 2011 By kmarrs

Now, if that isn’t SEO, I don’t know what is!

So I was doing to follow up the last post with a couple of topics.  Let’s get to it, shall we?
*references the last post to see what exactly she was suppose to follow up with*

Just kidding Pat.  I know I’m planning to talk about you! (He read the last one knowing I almost always end the posts with that title talking about him, and then saw, Oh hey, I didn’t talk about him other than to mention I wasn’t talking about him.  He was sad.  So I’m going to make sure I don’t do that to him again.  I’m rather fond of him and I rather like that he reads my blog.)

So Pat and I are doing pretty damn good.  We have our “moments” but I do believe most married couples do.  Our good moments far outweigh our bad ones, so I’m pretty sure we are securely married to one another at the moment. These days I love, like, and enjoy my husband.  So I’m happy!

My mental health is also pretty fabulous.  I had a couple of bad days following Thanksgiving and that scared the crap outa me.  I’ve been so stable that a bad day or evening throws me into a panic of “Dear god am I losing my stable!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!”  HOWEVER, many a person has pointed out that EVERYONE has bad days.  Everyone.  So I convinced myself it’s in how you handle them, how you react to them, and how long you let them keep you down.  My coping skill these days is just to sleep it off if I can.  I go to bed early and hope that I wake up in a better mood, and more often than not, I do.

One of the big causes of my mental anguish these days is the physical pain.  I’m still having headaches but my arthritis is also acting up real bad.  Most joints in my body are inflamed and angry and hurt like HELL.

I hesitate to go to the doctor because first of all, I have yet to get a doctor to acknowledge my arthritis.  I guess the most common type shows up on blood work.  Yeah, seems that’s not the type I have.  But whatever it is, I’ve had it since I was a kid.  And it’s getting worse.

The other things holding me back is that I’m terrified he’ll think I’m after pain meds. (As in I’m an addict or something.)  Usually it takes pain to get me to a doctor.  But?  I don’t want pain meds.  I don’t want to mask the pain.  I want to stop it before it even starts.  But if I can’t prove I even have arthritis, and he’s been my doctor since last year’s shoulder incident, and the sciatica, and the headaches… that’s a history of pain I’ve been to him for.  Maybe I’ve watched too much House, but to me that looks suspicious.

That said, post surgery next week I’m getting Percocet so hopefully I’ll have a few pain free days.  And that will be legit since I am actually being cut open in 2 places.  I’m just looking forward to being pain free elsewhere as well for awhile.

Anyway, dealing with that crap day in and day out eventually gets to me and I have a mood shift.  But like I said, usually I sleep it off.  Sometimes with a dose of Lunesta so I can get some even better, deeper sleep.  Now that Sammy is out through the night, I’m pretty safe to do so.  Even if she stirs early, the initial effects of the Lunesta are gone.  Then I pull her to my bed and we dose off the rest of it.  Plus we have the baby monitor for Pat in case she can’t wake me, he can go to her pretty easy.  Though, she’s never not woken me.

In closing, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!  Also, to brag.  He has lost a ton of weight and is doing so damn good sticking to a new diet and I am so super proud.  Had. To. Brag!

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