Archive for September, 2011

Samantha Lavay’s Story Part 3 Reflections

Posted September 6, 2011 By kmarrs

These are all direct quotes from twitter. Random thoughts I had while in the hospital and the days immediately after. You may or may not be actually interested in this post, but to me it’s as important as the others. This was me getting to know my Sammy, and sharing my discoveries with the world.

August 30, 2011

This delivery was the exact opposite of this pregnancy and I am as fantastic as can be!

Holy shit you guys. The past 39 weeks were so worth it!

Little sister and big brothers have met. Love at first sight!

First sponge bath. Sammy has declared this worst day ever!

It is safe to say I found that peace I was looking for. It came with birth and will be supported by meds.

The team I had was the perfect team for us. Absolute perfect. I could not ask for a better process start to finish for the day.

So… Uh… Girl parts. How about that… #wholenewballgame

She slept for 3 hours. Finally saw eyes. She looked at me, yawned and now seems to be back asleep. It won’t stay this easy but it’s awesome!

Also: do feet really come that small?

I forgot how soft new born skin is.

Ok so I know she isn’t smiling AT me, but NO ONE tell my heart that!

Well then we are officially a champion of: peeing, pooping (2 in the first 6hrs of life!), eating, burping and sleeping. Mostly sleeping.

And on that note, I’m going to go to sleep! (On mah belly!)

August 31, 2011

I’m screwed. This kid is only 9hrs old and I’m already helplessly wrapped around her little finger. But imagine poor daddy’s fate…

Up again. She is a hungry little thing but not a peep otherwise. Not a lot of sleep through the night even when she slept but doing fine.

She is officially wearing one of my favorite outfits I bought her. She is going to be so much fun to dress! Sadly her tutu is at home.

The new baby smell is quite possibly the most intoxicating smell ever. If it were possible to be drunk off a smell alone, this would do it!

Just captured a a rare moment on “film”! She has eyes!

Her ability to fill a diaper 5 seconds after a fresh diaper has just been secured is MAGIC. Glad it was after new one secured, not before.

Took a peek into the nursery, since my Sammy is in there atm with doc. Lots of tiny heads full of hair in there. Tums did well (in sales) this quarter.

On the one hand I need to wake this child to eat. On the other hand, the current belly to belly cuddle we have got going on…

Part of waking up a baby to eat is just sitting back and staring at them, right?

September 1, 2011

Her range of facial expressions when she sleeps is incredible. I can’t help but wonder what someone who is only about 35 hours old dreams?

It may have been an hour and 15 min early, but when princess wakes on her own and demands a bottle, you give it to her!

And she is actually staying awake! You have no idea exactly how amazing this and the last tweet are.

September 2, 2011

While I can’t wait til she is sleeping through the night, if I have to be woken at 1, at least it’s by the most beautiful face in the world.

She went from being forced awake to be fed every 4hrs to waking on her own and demanding food every 3. And she eats like it’s been days. =)

So, what do the boys think? One of the first things TK said when he woke up this morning: Can I hold Sammy? I need my baby fix to get me through the day! And Luke, as we speak, is setting up train tracks right next to his sister so her can teach her how to play trains.

Who needs a battery operated vibrating bouncy seat when you have a 3yo brother who loves nothing better than to sit there and bounce you?

“Momma! Don’t eat her hand! Eating people’s pieces hurts!”

I said I needed a calm, laid back child as my 3rd, One who could sleep through things (brothers). But uh, this is getting to be a bit much!

So I don’t have to worry about the kids waking the baby, because that’s pretty much impossible. BUT unfortunately Luke knows it, so when I want him to be quiet for my sake, I can’t use the baby as an excuse.

She doesn’t have day and night mixed up. She thinks all the time is nap time! Even with bright light, noise and playtime. She just sleeps.

Apparently in baby talk, the adult phrase of “Shoot the burp cloth is over there” directly translates to “Spit out that milk RIGHT NOW!”

September 3, 2011

Her ability to go 5hrs between bottles during the day but only 2hrs at night is maddening. She sleeps 24/7 though.

I went from going to bed at 6AM to waking up at 6:30AM in the span of, “Oh hey! A baby!”

The 8yo just asked me who the baby loves the most. Like I’m falling into that trap!

Know how some babies can sense a clean shirt and instantly puke? Sammy can sense clean pants and instantly fills them. Every time.

When daddy can hear your pants fill from upstairs over the monitor, you know you’ve filled them good.

September 4, 2011

I’m starting to wonder is she would sleep longer stretches at night if she had her brothers down there fighting next to her.

Working on another blog post, but finding the words is impossible. I can blog about my mental illness like it’s nothing. My daughter? No words. How do you find words for perfection?

And there you have it world. My daughter, Sammy.

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Samantha Lavay’s Story Part 2 Meet My Baby

Posted September 5, 2011 By kmarrs

Sammy entered the world with a brief scream that let us know her lungs were just fine, but after that brief moment passed, she eased into a calm she has rarely left.

After our mommy meets baby snuggle, she was taken by the nurses to be examined. They cleaned her up a bit while my midwife took care of me. Once Sammy was given a clean bill of health, she was weighed and measured. At 8lbs, 1 oz and 20.5 inches she wasn’t my biggest baby but she was by far not my smallest either.

After the nurses were done with her, we all played pass the baby. Sammy was alert and calm, doing her damnedest to hypnotize us all with her eyes and charm. It wasn’t a hard battle on her part. We were all immediately hooked. My sister, who was there for the event, was able to get her hands on fresh baby for the first time and she fell just as hard as the rest of us.

After a couple of hours in recovery, Sammy and I were taken up to our room. Once there Pat and I were briefed on a few things and then Sammy was given her first sponge bath. Along with this, Sammy treated us with what her lungs are fully capable of. It is safe to say, she does not enjoy being naked and wet.

Once clean, she was dressed and wrapped up, and we treated her to her first bottle. My daughter is an excellent eater. She can down her food quickly and burped with ease!

Soon our family was allowed into the room and we all visited. A little later in the evening, after family left, my best friend Stacy and her momma came. The next couple days were filled with visitors. Lots of my family in and out. But also my adopted mom Brenda came for awhile on Wednesday. Everyone agreed that my baby was pretty much perfect.

So, her personality? Pretty damn sleepy. In the hospital, I was supposed to feed her every 3-4 hours, like clockwork. That was fun. I had to literally force her awake for each feeding. And that was no small task. At one point, Brenda and I had to literally torture her for an hour and a half to try and wake her up. It’s pretty funny looking back. At the time I was well aware that I had a nurse waiting to hear she had eaten. Which, really is kind of annoying. But I do understand it is their job to make sure she is healthy and can eat, poop, pee, etc. So it’s very important for them to track all that stuff. But at the time I was highly annoyed to be forcing my baby awake at 3 AM to feed her when with her being my 3rd, I was well aware when she was hungry she’d wake on her own. I was very glad to get home, in those respects. Even the “instruction guide” sent home by the nurses agreed to let her sleep at night until she woke on her own. Not that I needed their approval.

Once we got home, she settled down into a bit of a routine. She still slept, I’d say 20-21 hours a day, but during the day she would wake every 4 hrs or so for a bottle, and at night every 2-3 hours. I wish it was reversed, but at night she was going right back to sleep, so I couldn’t complain too much. During the day, most of the time she goes right back to sleep, but we could usually count on her staying awake after a couple of bottles for an hour or so before passing back out. Overall, catching a glimpse of her eyes is pretty rare.

Now, in the past 24 hours, there has been a slight change in her schedule. I’m not entirely sure where it’s headed. 2 nights in a row, she’s struggled going back to sleep after one of her late night feedings. In both cases, there was a period of roughly 2 hours where she wasn’t screaming but was definitely fussy. It doesn’t seem to be an “I’m awake and don’t want to sleep” issue, though. So I’m not entirely sure what’s the matter. I think last night’s issue might have been gas bubbles, actually. Plus also possibly an increase in appetite. Every now and then she wants more than her standard 2oz. Either way, at not even a week old, she’s allowed her moments of being complicated. During the day yesterday, she was awake more frequently, to demand a bottle, and then right back to sleep. Though overall, she was borderline fussy. Now, mind you, when I say fussy, it is in NO WAY comparable to your average fussy baby. But for a baby who usually sleeps 20+ hours a day, she was fussy by her own standards.

I’m starting to think the issue might maybe be gas bubbles. For the first 4 days, she burped with ease every half oz like clockwork. If after a few minutes, if that, of burping her she didn’t burp, then she honestly didn’t need to. We seem to have reached a point where she’s no longer as easy to burp and where we use to be safe to assume there was nothing to bring up, we now need to persist. I think once we get that squared away, we might be back to a less fussy state.

So, speaking of burping issues, what about spitting up? She doesn’t. Well, she has. Exactly 3 times. The first was about 5 minutes after I twitter bragged my baby never spits up. The second was random. The third was late night, I was topless, had forgotten the burp cloth, and said “Fuck it, she doesn’t spit up anyways.” Sure enough, right down my bare shoulder. Luckily she had only eaten half an oz at that point so it wasn’t like it was much. Or the first time I’d been spit up on. But needless to say, Murphey’s Law applies to my child. (Which means that now that I’ve typed this, she is due for a massive belly unload.)

The routine we are trying to establish, though the feeding and sleeping itself is of now baby led, is that during the day she is upstairs with us surrounded by noise and light so that we can encourage the concept of daytime is playtime. At night, she is downstairs in the dark with me where it is quiet and peaceful. When she wakes for a bottle I change her, feed her, and then put her right back in her crib so she can sleep. If she doesn’t go back to sleep and fusses instead, I tend to her by checking her diaper, giving her her binkie, turning on her mobile, etc. If enough time passes, or she’s acting hungry, I’ll go ahead and offer a second bottle. But overall I try to make it brief so that I can encourage her sleeping and not “playing” at night. Luke had day and night confused for a while when he was this age, so I’m trying very hard to prevent it with Sammy. The trick is, since she sleeps all day and night, I have no idea where this is headed.

On a final note, there is one other aspect of my baby, I’ll mention. Only because it leads to a funny story. My daughter is a very good pooper. I mean, almost every diaper change is a poopy one. She poops mid-change. She can sense a clean diaper within minutes and proceeds to fill it. She poops. A lot. So one afternoon, I’m changing her diaper while being observed by the boys, who are pretty much all up in her business no matter what she is doing. During the diaper change, I called her my affectionate little nickname I have for her: Princess Poopy-Pants. To which Thomas chimed in, “Is that her nickname? Princess Poopy-Pants?” To which I informed him that only the person changing her pants is allowed to call her that. So he then, of course, followed it up with, “So when do I get to change her pants?” Uh… I think it’s possible calling her that in front of her brothers may have been a mistake.

Overall though, at 6 days old, even with her brief periods of fussy as of late, she is overall a very sweet, sleepy, warm, soft, cuddle bug. I’m pretty sure we have all decided she is a keeper.

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Samantha Lavay’s Story Part 1 The Birth

Posted September 2, 2011 By kmarrs

I’m going to do my best to retell this in the order it happened. I have rough ideas of order and time thanks to my twitter stream so it should be good. Just hard to know for sure. While I wasn’t drugged, aside from my epidural and the drug that started labor, it’s still hard to remember exactly step by step what happened, though I have fairly clear ideas.

We reached the hospital a little before 8. Mom was going to be a little bit late because she was getting Thomas to the bus stop, but we knew even if I was taken back right at 8, it would be a bit before anything exciting happened. Sure enough, I was told they didn’t currently have a room for me, BUT it would only be a couple of hours at the most, so I was sent to the waiting room. While we waited, mom showed up with a long-awaited package from my friend Danielle. I was able to occupy some time by drooling over the goodies inside.

By about 10:30 I was officially in my room and had been hooked up to an IV of basic fluids. At which pointed I pulled out my phone to tweet as desired and my Sudoku puzzle book to distract. I’m going to tell you right here and now that the Sudoku ended up being the BEST idea ever. While I was feeling contractions, it was the perfect distraction to help me through. And once I stopped feeling the contractions, it helped pass the time. Apparently, I did learn some coping skills in DBT.

Anyway, I was on just the IV for awhile. They needed a certain amount in me and then had to get the order for the meds that induce labor. Around 11:00 they went ahead and started the meds that induce labor. This got contractions started, but there was a ways to go. Next up came breaking my water. This took a bit because the nurse had to flag down a doctor. At around noon, the doctor came in, my water was broken, and things started happening.

Only one catch. And this one catch explains SO DAMN MUCH! About a year after Thomas was born, I had a cone biopsy, where basically they removed a portion of my cervix, due to “pre-cancerous cell changes”. Now the whole thing was lab error, which is why I’m not sure I’ve mentioned it on here, though maybe I have. So, all in all, it wasn’t a big deal. But apparently, the scar tissue that formed makes it hard for my cervix to dilate. This is probably why labor with Luke was so long and gruesome. And this may very well mean the time I went to the hospital with Sammy last Friday and told I was in active labor but nothing happened… I don’t know for sure but it is possible I was but my cervix couldn’t do its thing, so labor stopped. So the nurse said the best bet was for her to manually break up the scar tissue.

But first, my epidural. I was given that at about 1:30. With both the boys, I had Pat hold me while it was done and I had no fears. Actually, I think I was so distracted comforting my husband who has a severe fear of needles, but wanted to be there for me anyway, that I didn’t even notice what was being done to me. This time I was told no one could be in the room. Apparently, they’ve lost too many fathers due to passing out and could no longer handle that liability. So I became really nervous about getting my epidural done. I knew the nurse would be with me and would comfort me. But she wasn’t my Patrick.

I will say though, that the nurse did a really good job and the anesthesiologist was a total pro. He gave me just enough warning about what I was going to feel, but not so much so that I freaked out. He had an excellent tone of voice for this too. Not just calm, because he was, of course, calm as he’d done this a million times, but also soothing. It was over before I knew it and kicked in quickly. I think I felt maybe 1 more contraction after it was done and then nothing.

Actually, it was the perfect epidural. I mean Perfect. I had enough use of my legs to aid slightly here and there. And I could feel on my own when I needed to push when the time came. But I didn’t feel a damn thing I didn’t want to feel. I’ve never had a bad epidural, but that one was perfect. I was even able to walk again sooner than they expected. If I could recommend anesthesiologists to friends and family, this one would be the one.

Once the epidural was in, the nurse broke up the scar tissue and then I went from the 4 I was stuck at, to an 8 in a matter of an hour and a half and then the rest of the way to a 10 by 4:00 PM.

At 4 my the midwife on duty for my practice, came in to check my cervix and see if I was ready to push. She had me do a trial push and LOVED the results so we went to business. The table was set up, and I was surrounded. I had Pat on my left up by my head. My mom on my left practically over the midwife’s shoulder, and my nurse on my right.

Let me start by saying I knew my midwife already. I met Liza during my pregnancy with Luke. And I saw her at least once during my pregnancy with Sammy. And I have always liked her. So while she wasn’t the midwife I saw through most of this pregnancy, I was thrilled she was the one on duty. And she ended up being the perfect match. The nurse was pretty kick-ass too.

Anyway, pushing commenced. And I pushed and I pushed. We realized something. Liza said she thought maybe the baby was face up and that was causing her to get stuck on my pelvic bone. I told her she was right because I’d had nothing but back contractions. So I pushed a little more. And then mid push the nurse said something that I found funny and I couldn’t help but stop pushing and laugh. And then Liza caught on real fast that holy crap Sammy moved better when I laughed than she did when I pushed. So while it still took a little extra work to get her unstuck, I literally laughed this baby into the world.

And let me just say, after the HELL of pregnancy, I had, laughing the baby into the world will be the most memorable part of it. I needed that. No, I NEEDED that!

At 4:30 PM on the dot, a very slimy but healthy baby girl was plopped on my belly. And suddenly nothing else mattered. I didn’t know what to feel in those first few seconds. A wave of emotion overcame me. But it was all good. It was all beautiful. Just very overwhelming. I think I was to a degree in shock. Once that wore off I what was left was everything there needed to be. Total awe, adoration, and pure unfiltered love. This delivery was the total opposite of my pregnancy and it was fantastic all the way through!

Apparently, this will be a 3 parter (I think). Next up is a glimpse into my baby’s personality. And that will be followed by my random thoughts and reactions as I met my little girl.

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Introducing Samantha Lavay

Posted September 2, 2011 By kmarrs

Words to come soon. I’m at a loss for them. In the best way possible. For now I hope these tide you over!

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