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Torn

Guys, I don’t know what to do about this whole job thing.

To me it is tacky and unprofessional to job hunt while pregnant.

I don’t know that I can mentally and physically handle 8-12 more months where I’m at. I hate cashiering. And my body can’t seem to handle it. I can’t continue to stay on fast lanes forever. At some point I’m going to have to just submit to the pain and learn to live with it. Even when my shoulder isn’t bothering, cashiering hurts my back something fierce. And I don’t have the luxury of living on Ibuprofen at the moment. My body simply can’t handle my job. And my mental health is taking a beating as well.

At the same time I know that if I stay where I’m at I will have a job to return to (legally) after my 6 week leave is up. I might even have a bit of a paid leave depending on if childbirth and recovery counts as short term disability.

My boss when I worked for circuit city and was pregnant with Thomas gloated to me face that she didn’t have to hold my position for me. Then about 3 months before he was born the company policy changed in my favor and my job was safe. And it turned out there was a manager wide countdown (and an official happy dance) of how many days until I was back because they all missed me and my hard work so much. But that original gloat is stuck in my memory.

Sure some companies are great. With my last job when I went on leave to give birth to Luke there was no question as to whether my job was safe. My boss saw it as just one less person to have to find hours for during the dead months of January and February. When my 6 weeks were up she welcomed me back with open arms and I was good to go. Legally she didn’t have to do that. But there was never any doubt. That’s why I felt so safe in trying for Luke even though I knew I would be outside of FMLA.

This bank job I’m going for could go either way.

I’m so tempted to be upfront “Look, I’m pregnant and I still want this job. But please don’t hire me if you aren’t going to keep me through my leave. That’s ok with me. I can try again in 9 months.”

No matter what I can try for this bank gig in 9 months. The question is where to work in the meantime.

And even if I get a bank job and they don’t keep me after my leave at least it will be 8 months of banking experience I can put on my resume. That will be a plus.

And I’m ok with job hunting through my maternity leave.

The fear is not finding a job in those 6 weeks and having to take a longer leave with no income and 3 kids.

Where I’m at is safe. It’s a guarantee.

Just to cover my bases I did ask about transferring to a different department. Currently there are no appropriate openings in the store (I’m not able to do 3rd shift stocking because of the heavy lifting and I refuse to work in the deli with the meat.)

I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know what is best for me. I could really use some advice.

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