I really need this year to rock. I’ll be honest, 2010 wasn’t too bad for me but it certainly could have been better.

I need to get this new job. I can’t keep up at where I’m at. My bitterness is starting to show and it’s going to get me fired one of these days. “I do a good deed every day. I want to kill people but I don’t.” “This day isn’t over soon enough. It’s not the length of the day, but the people in it.” I’m doing my best to control my mouth; the words that come out of it and the smile it’s suppose to be pulled into. But I’ve always hated people and this job just reinforces that. And yes, I know that’s the tale of retail. But I’ve never seen it as bad as this current job.

I need this new job. It’s better paying, though fewer hours so I’ll be making about 25$ less per week.

I’ll have time to go to school.

I’ll be working in a job that’s in the career path I maybe want.

I’ll be working a job that will allow me to take it easy with my right arm so I can stop with the doctor’s notes. I’ll take physical therapy to it’s end and then just be done. If it still hurts, it still hurts. If it’s healed, it’s healed. It won’t matter anymore because I won’t be expected to abuse it.

But guys, listen up. I’m scared. No I’m terrified. What if I hate being a bank teller. Here I am thinking banking could be a great career path for me. But it’s so new. And I’ve had people say they’ve done it and hated it. But I’ve also had people say they love it. Where will I fall?

And the whole pregnancy thing. Am I. Aren’t I. Who knows at this point. I know I’m 6 days late. But I’m even second guessing that. Do I have the right date of when I started my last one? I’m almost positive but the I can’t be pregnant doubt is kicking in.

If I am pregnant I’ll deal with it. I wouldn’t call it unwanted. I mean we wanted a third for so long now but the timing is a little off.

The big deal is my maternity leave won’t be covered by FMLA. Which means I very well may be spending my maternity leave job hunting. Not ideal. But I’ll do it. I’ll work right up until I go into labor, like I’ve done twice now, and I’ll hit the ground running after delivery. It would just be nice to spend that 6 weeks bonding with baby instead of interviewing. But I can do it. I will do it.

So these are two potentially huge changes that might be greeting me in this new year. I can only hope that they will change my life for the better.