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Living Life with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

Right now my biggest battle is sleep.

I’m sticking to my 11pm bed time and I’m trying to stick to a 8am wake up. Sure enough my alarm goes off on time but I’m not getting out of bed. Or rather, I am getting out of bed long enough to take care of Luke and get him safely deposited into his father’s hands, but then I’m going back to bed.

I just need motivation to stay up. Don’t say Luke. I know he should be all the motivation I need. But he doesn’t stimulate my mind and he wears me down. Both things send me straight back to bed. I just need some fun activity that I’m looking forward to. I’m not even currently reading a good book. I’m currently working on 3 books that are teaching me about the brain. Interesting, but not at 8am.

Oh let’s be honest. 8:30.

I’m doing ok getting to sleep, sorta. I’m having the weirdest dreams though. Last night I almost had sex with Heath Ledger in my dream but then I woke up and realized he was dead and got sad. True story.

I tried Lunesta for the first time last night. It worked ok. I wasn’t too groggy when I woke up, but I also slept well past the recommended 8 hours. I’m going to try it again tonight since I don’t have to be anywhere until 4:30pm. I’ll try to be up at 8:30, Pat won’t be home and Luke will be awake by that point. So I can take special notice of how alert I am. I’m terrified of trying it on the nights I have to be at work at 10am the following morning.

Terrified!

So, what do you do for sleep? When is your bedtime? Is it strictly enforced? When do you wake up?

One Comment

  1. Comment by My Black Fog:

    My sleep is so screwed up I have been trying to get it sorted for YEARS!!! When you find the secret, PLEASE let me know. My sleeping issues totally run my life.

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