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Living Life with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)Welcome to my weekly post topic. Every Wednesday(ish) I discuss what it’s like living with Borderline Personality Disorder. Sometimes that involves sharing the details of my therapy or meds appointments.

This week’s topic: What I discussed in therapy today.

So what did I discuss in therapy?

Pat.Girlfriend.Crap.Stuff

I guess this topic isn’t completely dead. Dear god let it be dead. But I had to talk to my therapist about it. That is, after all, the point of therapy. I directed her to this blog post to get started and we talked from there.

We dissected the entire incident and discussed every angle of it. We also dissected, yet again, Pat’s need to throw around the word divorce. We both agree that he needs to come up with a better way to motivate me to change my behavior, but using the word divorce is what works.

We touched on, of course, how it made me feel. And I will go ahead and answer that here. I kept the one other post on it pretty objective.

Basically I felt hurt and betrayed. I felt not good enough and like a failure. Pat really hurt me. But so did Stacy. When he called her and told her all this and brought up she might be his date of choice, she teased that she’d play hard to get but she seemed willing. I know that she is who I would have chosen for him but I dunno, I expected more loyalty from her. I don’t feel like I got that. At the same time I wasn’t privy to the actual conversation and I don’t know what was inside her head. So I’m not going to lose a friend over this. I guess I just have to wait and see what happens.

If she actually had become his girlfriend I would have lost her as a friend. I just can’t be friends with the other woman. And that’s what she would have been, the other woman.

That was pretty much it. I mean I could go into greater detail but I feel like I’m beating a dead horse here. This topic has been discussed in detail with half a dozen people, between me and Pat, in the past almost week and I don’t have what it takes to discuss it any more.

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