Archive for July, 2010

This is the post I’ve been planning for a few weeks now. It was originally going to be my “Living With BPD” post for the week, but then I decided it was too important to get lost under that title. So here you have the results of my research. Enjoy and learn something!

So what, besides taking your meds, can you do to have better mental health? We all know the basics: eat healthy, sleep well and exercise. But why? Why are these things so important to our mental health? Let’s have a look!

Eating healthy gives us essential nutrients and vitamins. We all know this. These vitamins effect how we feel from day to day. But why? The vitamin B complex is an essential vitamin to look at. It’s a proven and well documented fact that a deficiency in these vitamins can lead to depression over time. Did you know that vitamin B6 is essential to the production of Dopamine and Serotonin? A lack of B12 can lead to mood swings, mania and paranoia, to name a few. Vitamin B3 and vitamin B5: both so important. A lack of the vitamin B1 can cause depletion in energy. It leads to a sluggish feeling. Long term it can lead to deep fatigue, suicidal tendencies, depression and anxiety. It can also lead to insomnia which just makes everything worse from there. It goes on and on. For that matter, did you know alcohol destroys the vitamin B in your body? Vitamin C is essential in easing the state of depression a person is in. (Good to know my obsession with orange juice is actually helping me in the long run.) Magnesium, calcium, iron, zinc, potassium and manganese all combine in order to produce and release serotonin and other compounds that can have positive effects on a person’s mood and mental health. So my next step is to research which food give me the all important Vitamin B complex. (Whole grains, meat, potatoes, bananas, lentils, chile peppers, tempah, beans, and yeast. Unprocessed foods!)

What about sleep? We all know that sleep makes a huge difference in how we feel through the day. Too little or too much and we feel like crap. But why? Did you know that the average life span of a rat is 2-3 years? Did you know that the average life span of a rat deprived of REM sleep is 5 weeks? Did you know that a rat deprived of all sleep only lives about 3 weeks? Sleep is necessary for the nervous system to work properly. Sleep deprivation leads to mood swings. Without sleep, neurons may become so depleted in energy or so polluted with byproducts of normal cellular activities that they begin to malfunction. Sleep gives them a chance to shut down and repair. Deep sleep also leads to increased production and reduced break down of proteins. Proteins are the building blocks for cell growth and the repair of damage from factors like stress. Activity in the parts of the brain that control emotions and decision-making processes is reduced during deep sleep, meaning this type of sleep may also help people maintain emotional functioning while they are awake.

Now, what about exercise? Exercise has anti-depressant properties. But why? We all know exercise produces endorphins but scientists are now thinking endorphins might just improve mood. Studies have found that exercise increases levels of serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine: The three big neurotransmitters of mental health! Those meds you take? Yeah, they are trying to boost these three. Bottom line? There is a reason you feel better after you exercise!

So what are you doing to improve your mood? Is your only answer focused on the meds you take? Could you be doing more?

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Work Thoughts

Posted July 20, 2010 By kmarrs

I like my grocery store job better on the days I don’t work the camera store. But I prefer the camera store. As my husband pointed out, at the camera store I’m lucky enough to get paid for my hobby. I just wish we were busier. Not holiday season busy. Just busier.

The grocery store is ok. Tonight wasn’t too bad.

Let’s rewind.

Between both jobs I worked 32 hours in 3 days this weekend. Two 11 hour days and a 10 hour day. Now that’s including time driving from one to the other. But that’s still work. That’s not relaxing. And that was the only real break I got between the two. So by the end of Sunday I was sick of both jobs. And I dreaded the grocery store all 3 days. Why wouldn’t I? I still had 5 hours of work ahead of me and had already put in a full day.

Tonight though was different because today was different. I slept to 1 in the afternoon. Yes that late. And I was dragged out of bed at that. I would have slept later but we had to go sign our new lease for our apartment. Today I spent time with my kids. Today I was lazy. So tonight’s 7:15-10:15 at the store, not so bad. It got me out of the house. It got me around people. I need that. I go stir crazy at home.

Tonight wasn’t so bad. By the end of the shift I was still going strong. I was smiling. I was social. I didn’t hate life.

I don’t know how long I can keep up doing both jobs. I don’t think I have much choice. I’m pretty much going to be stuck at 20-25 at the grocery store and 15 at the camera store for awhile. So hopefully I’ll get use to it. I have to get use to it. I just wish most my hours between the 2 weren’t crammed into 3 days.

On a even brighter side, my speed at the grocery store.

I approached my boss about my worries about not being fast enough. I was at a speed of 66 then 68%. I was suppose to be at a 75 then 80% by week 3 and 4. By week 9 I’m suppose to be at 95%. That is the key goal. The week 1-8 goals are just stepping stones. Mini goals to gauge my progress. And my numbers compared to where I was suppose to be were bad and I knew it. So I spoke to my boss. I told her what I was seeing. I told her my worries about my job being in jeopardy. I told her I’m too slow because I’m too OCD about how I bag things. She spent a shift watching me off and on and then the next day we talked again. She assured me my only problem is that I am too OCD about how I bag things and that I was just going to have to get over it. Not be sloppy but a lot less OCD. She told me the two hand method. About how my right hand should be reaching for the next item to scan while my left hand bags. I know this. I’m just going to have to be less OCD. She told me to perfect my speed and then perfect how I bag. As long as I’m not putting bread under things, for example, I’m fine.

Today I looked at my numbers again. In the span of a week and a half I went from 66% to 68% to 78% to 82% to 83%. I’m suppose to be at 80% So I’m faster than expected. So I’m thrilled. and I’m not being a sloppy bagger, just faster. So there is hope for me yet.

And fyi, if I’m not at 95% by week 9 I’m not fired, I’m instead coached until I get there.

One percent at a time.

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I Know, I Know

Posted July 19, 2010 By kmarrs

I’ve been posting a lot of fluff lately, what with my coffee poetry and my item codes from last night. To make matters worse, I completely missed one of my weekly “Living with BPD” posts completely and replaced is with a fluff “This ‘N’ That”.

I apologize. I’m just really tired. I’m trying to get use to my schedule. But right now weekends really suck. On you average weekend I’m working a good 32 hours crammed into 3 days. That’s quite exhausting. Really.

The purely fun fluff (not to be confused with the “This ‘N’ That” fluff) is just kinda my way of saying I’m here. I’m thinking about you. I’m surviving. That and well, coffee does weird thing to me. And I’m not just referring to the massive indigestion.

So the good news is I do have a good solid “Living With BPD” planned for Wednesday. I’ll research it and write it and it will be good. And this coming weekend I only work, well all day Friday, but only half the day Sunday, and not at all Saturday. And while I have a lot of activities planned for Saturday, they are fun, visiting people I love activities. So it’s all good.

Hmmm, maybe as an added bonus I’ll dig out my one piece of published poetry and type it up her for you guys. It’s a tad bit more serious than the coffee stuff. I keep meaning to share it with y’all.

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I Don’t Want to Know This

Posted July 19, 2010 By kmarrs

Green beans 4066
Cucumbers 4062
Watermelon 4032
Red grapes 4023
Sweet corn 4078
Cantaloupe 4050
Bananas 4011
Cherries 4045

I make it my goal to memorize a new one every day.

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Poetry in Motion Pt2

Posted July 17, 2010 By kmarrs

The after effects:

Oh coffee my coffee
To burp you’s no fun
Just when you’re over
You have just begun
My meds can not help you
They won’t even try
Two cups was to many
How stupid was I

Thank you, I’m here all week.

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Poetry in Motion

Posted July 17, 2010 By kmarrs

A long long time ago, like 10 years or so, I use to write a lot of poetry. Very depressing poetry. I freaked my mom out. Well, to be fair, the website the poetry was on freaked my mom out. I was a troubled teen. Anyway. Every now and then I still dabble in poetry. Today for example.

Cup one:

Oh coffee my coffee
Your kiss is just right
Come closer my darling
For I do not bite
I sip and caress
Your smooth golden taste
Your bliss I enjoy
And never shall waste

Cup two:

Oh coffee my coffee
No creamer at all
Why be so silly
And order a tall
Thy sugar is sweet
But not sweet enough
Though I shall still drink you
For this girl is tough

Anyway, there you have it.

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