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Living Life with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

Hi my name is _____ and I need help but I don’t know where to find it.

I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve received that email.

So what do you do? Finding a therapist can be daunting. And there are so many ways to go about it. And a lot of therapists and psych doctors have waiting lists a mile long. So what do you do if you need help NOW?

Sometimes the best answer is the one that sucks the most. I’ve been hospitalized twice now, and I know first hand it isn’t fun. But I also know if you go into the hospital without a psychologist, they will appoint you one before you leave. They make sure you have help when you leave the hospital, otherwise you aren’t going home. And believe me, they want you to go home so they will find you someone fast.

How did I get my therapist? Let’s just say my husband made a lot of phone calls to Concord that week. He had every phone in the building ringing off the hook telling everyone who would listen how bad off I was and that I needed help NOW. I was not in need of the hospital. I wasn’t suicidal. But I was in a quick downward spiral of self sabotage. This was back in the days of our separation. Anyway, one of the therapists agreed to take me on as a patient. Julie was a life saver. She was also the one to realize I was borderline. I had a slightly longer wait to get in to the psychologist. But that was expedited as well due to my condition. It was obvious I needed to be on meds asap.

Now, do I recommend having a loved one, or yourself, do what Pat did to get you help? Not really. He lucked out. But if all else fails, it is a method.

So here is the plan: If you need help NOW go to the nearest hospital with a psych ward and have yourself admitted. It sucks, I know. But it will get you the help you need. Otherwise, do your research and find a therapist or a psychologist nearby that can take you on and get on that waiting list. In the left hand column is a link for each state that should give you a starting point. If you don’t live in the states, Google search is your best bet. Include the word DBT in your search and you have better odds of finding someone who knows about borderline personality disorder and how to treat it. Which is always helpful.

And if you need help finding help, don’t be afraid to ask me. I’m always happy to see what I can do. I can’t make any promises but I’m always happy to try.

Finally, if you know of a good therapist or Psych in your area that knows how to treat BPD or runs DBT and they have a website, please comment with it or email me it so I can add it to the column on the left. I’m trying to grow and extensive database.

2 Comments

  1. Comment by Anonymous:

    I know that you can't solve this for me but I am so ready to snap. I have been hospitalized 5 times, the most recent was 6 months ago. I have been to every psychiatrist within a 100 mile radius from where I live that my insurance covers. Every single one has told me that I have "too many issues". They say they aren't "comfortable with my lack of stability". They don't work with BPD. I'm at the point where I may have to move. My husband can't stand the lack of mental health support and he worries because I have past suicide attempts. I can't believe that, at 35 years old, I may have to uproot my entire life because of my mental illness. I hate that my sickness is controling my life!

  2. Comment by Walkingborder (Karen):

    Oh hun! What about the doctors at the hospital? Can they hook you up with anyone? Though I'm sure you've already tried that. Is there DBT within your search area that takes your insurance? That might help bring you some stability at least enough so that you can find a shrink that will work with you. I'd hate to see you move just so you can find a decent doctor but I'd certainly understand the idea of doing what you have to do. I don't know your story. I don't know your income level. I don't know if paying one out of pocket is an option. I'm sure if it was you'd be doing it though. Is your husband at least supportive of you? Supportive enough to be willing to move? Then again what if you moved just to have the same problem? Is changing insurance an option? Shopping around? Or are you like me and stuck on medicaid? I have so little of your story, I don't know how to advise, but I would love to at least try. If nothing else I can at least listen.

    Damn it, I need a licensed professional on staff to help with this sort of shit. I have a big heart but I can only do so much. Heh, I made it sound like I have a staff.

    Email me if you are willing. kmarrs at walkingtheborderline dot com.

    My next step, the more I think on it, would be finding DBT. Even if you can't afford the group, the leader should be able to help you find someone who can help you. They, of all people, aren't scared of BPD. Let me know if you need help finding a DBT group in your area/state.

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