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Not Afraid To Ask For Help

So…

Yeah…

See the problem is this paycheck I’m getting Friday is already spent. It’s going towards car insurance and gas for the van. And the car insurance is auto-withdrawn so we can’t just be a few days late. And well, gas in the van gets me to work to earn some, though not much, money for more bills.

And the paycheck after that? Probably electric or cable. Something important.

And the paycheck after that? Something else important. Actually I think this is the one that goes towards rent since they are removing a chuck of Pat’s SSI for June.

And the thing is, we needed laundry soap and dish soap and hand soap and other basic essential things. And rat food. I can’t forget the rat food. It isn’t very expensive but it’s more than what I have to my name at the moment.

What to do. What to do.

I had no real choice. I asked mom for help. Last month I traded her food for other random things. This time I didn’t have as much food stamps so I couldn’t offer that trade. So I had to ask for a handout.

Mom was given 30$ in gift cards to Walmart. I hate Walmart with a passion. The people, the atmosphere, the business policies: all of it is pure garbage. But I’m not stupid. 30$ is free money is 30$ in free money. So I swallowed my pride and went.

And I got the things I needed. All but the diapers. They didn’t have the size Luke wears. Mom is picking those up tomorrwo or Saturday.

I feel bad asking for help but I’m doing the best I can. I’m working every hour offered to me. The economy just sucks right now. I know a lot of people are having this problem. A lot of people within my company are having this problem. A year and a few months ago I was salary at 40 hours a week, 9 dollars an hour. Now I’m barely getting 15 hours. This change happened to all the lab supervisors and all the assistant managers. It sucks but it’s how the company is surviving.

So yes, I asked for help. Again. Because I’m a loser. Only not really. But kinda sorta.

Thanks mom.

4 Comments

  1. Comment by A Glass Half Shattered:

    You are not a loser! Remember that. You are working as hard as you can. Hold your head up, lady.

  2. Comment by Walkingborder:

    Yes ma'am. =P

  3. Comment by Stacy:

    New to following your blog.
    Sorry to hear about the finacial stress. We've got that in our housdhold too.
    It doesn't make us losers to ask for some help. There will be other times in our futures when the economy will be different and work will be different and we'll be able to offer something back.
    Would it help you with your self esteem if you offered to do something for your mom in exchange? Maybe some house or yardwork. I'm not saying you should I'm just saying if you're really struggling to keep you self esteem up, there's an option.
    I think there are just times in life, sometimes long periods of time, when we just struggle through and hope the future will be better. It's so hard though.

  4. Comment by Walkingborder:

    Welcome Stacy. You have the same name, spelling and everything, of my best friend so you are going to confuse me a lot. LOL But that's ok.

    I've been trading mom food for money. We get plenty of food stamps but food stamps won't buy toilet paper and things so we trade. I just couldn't do that this month.

    I'm going to have to start searching for a second job. Hopefully that will help alleviate the money stress.

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