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Living Life with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

So I’m two days late. So shoot me.

BPD BPD BPD

I’m not even sure what to say.

It was a decent week I guess.

Monday was awesome. I was manic but good manic. Not jumping off roofs or spending money I don’t have manic. It was more like this intense drive to play with my kids with lots of energy and excitement, manic. It was a really good feeling. Monday I was an awesome mom.

The rest of the week was back to normal. Kinda cranky but not over the top. I haven’t been as angry this week. Not that I’ve been angry so to speak. But I’d been having angry outbursts in the form of rages and those have subsided this week. Which is of course good.

Depression wise I’m doing ok. I’m at like a 3 on a scale of 1-10. A 3 is fine by me.

I’ve been really tired these past couple of weeks. More so than usual. I’ve been going to bed really early, with Luke, half the time. The rest of the time I stay up kinda late to catch up on blogs, since the previous nights I’ve said f-it and gone to bed. It’s becoming a pattern. One night to bed at 8pm, the next night in bed at 2am. Not always 2am. Sometimes 11, sometimes 12. But late in comparison to the night before. It’s like I over sleep then under sleep, then over, then under. I’ve also taken a few naps these past couple of weeks. Which isn’t weird of me really, but I’d stopped taking them for quite awhile. For me sleeping too much is usually a sign of depression but I swear I’m not depressed, just tired.

My stress levels are still pretty high. Figuring out what I’m going to do job wise has pretty much guaranteed that. I’m stressing less about money itself and more about how I’m going to cope with earning it. Either I’m taking a 3rd shift job and adding it to my 1st shift job, or I’m taking a new 1st shift job that I’m not positive that I want. Either way I’ll be bring in more money so it isn’t the lack of money itself that has me worried.

Meh, I guess that’s the BPD update for the week.

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