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Therapy and Divorce: Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Manipulation

I had group therapy today. And was presented with the perfect opportunity to talk about Pat asking for a divorce. However, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

Part of me doesn’t know what to say. Part of me is in denial. Part of me is dying inside. Part of me hopes he’ll change his mind. Part of me knows divorce will only cause more problems, not fix thing.

I guess the underlying problem is that I’m manipulative. He says he doesn’t blame me for when I’m manipulative because BPD makes me manipulative. He only blames me when I’m manipulative because I make me manipulative and I blame the BPD to get out of trouble. I don’t usually realize I’m even doing it. It’s so second nature to me. And I’m not trying to blame the BPD here. I accept responsibility for it. But that doesn’t mean I know how to change it.

I don’t know. But I’m trying. Hopefully that counts for something.

Meanwhile what am I suppose to say in therapy?

One Comment

  1. Comment by Leeyah:

    Just a thought that you can feel free to ignore:

    If you are not saying anything about what you are feeling or experiencing (i.e. the potential divorce), then you are actually being manipulative about your therapy. Therapy is supposed to help you, by way of YOU helping YOU. If you want to stop being the way you are, you must be open and outright with your feelings and not hide behind the disorder.

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