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My Response: Marriage and BPD

Pat posted a blog entry today. I removed the link from my twitter and facebook so you might have missed it. This is in response to his post.

Mostly I’m at a lost for words. I know I’ve been doing bad lately but I thought Pat and I were ok. I feel like I need to fix things between me and Pat but that I need time to fix myself first. I’ve been putting all my energy into fixing myself lately, hoping everything else would fall into place. Apparently that will not be the case. Do I really think he’ll leave me? No, those are words he says often. Roughly every 6 months. They are words he uses to bring about change. To scare me into change. So what will I do? I’ll work on changing. I have 1-3 months to convince him to stay.

4 Comments

  1. Comment by yousmellikegoat:

    Karen,

    If you really think he is bluffing, take a moment and reconsider that call.

    Pat even when you cheated on him with my brother never truely wanted to lose you, it I think is at its breaking point on his side for once.

    That is all…

  2. Comment by tracy:

    Wow. i almost, almost, don't know what to say. So much of that could have been written by MY husband. i feel like i am sitting here in some kind of shock, the kind of feeling i would have if my husband would have said those words to me. We had an argument the other evening and he kept asking me if i wanted a divorce…i really think he was asking himself. But then he will say "i will never leave y o u ." No, i don't think ANY of us want a divorce…we ALL just want IT to get better somehow…what ever IT is…
    i wish for and pray for the best….for all of us

  3. Comment by She Who Is:

    Tracy I hope everything is alright between you and your husband. And thank you for your prayers.

    Jesse, I don't think he's bluffing. As things stand I know he was serious. I also know he has a habit of saying it, meaning it, and then allowing me to change his mind. Which gives me room to hope. I take him very seriously and will do my best to do what I have to do to keep my husband. At the same time he is giving me mixed signals. He hasn't mentioned divorce since that morning. Meanwhile he's being affectionate, wanting to spend time with me, cooking for me, etc. In other words he's behaving like nothing has happened. Mixed signals.

  4. Comment by Patrick:

    I was trying to meet you half way. Last night you gave me cause to take a few steps back. as for mix signals; Im trying very hard to make my stance known but I am Fighting my own feelings. I love you very much. I Dislike that I love you so much because as you said every time I get to my braking point I throw out that word and MEAN IT. but you always put on your best attitude and woo me back. its the fact that I feel like the little boy that cried wolf. thats what has me so Stoic in my stance this time around. Im not going to settle for a couple of weeks of Karen being on her best behavior. Im not Settling Ever again. Either your fighting as hard as me or it wasn't ment to be.

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