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Grandparents

My cousin David wrote a very moving piece about his Grandparents on his blog. You can find the post here. We, of course being cousins, share a set of Grandparents.

I direct you to this post for two reasons. One, it’s well written and I think it should be read. It’s enough to make you remember back to your own grandparents and miss them in turn. But I also want you to read the comment I left. I’ll go ahead and copy and paste it up here, so you don’t have to dig for it. But don’t go thinking this gets you out of reading David’s post. It doesn’t. Read it. It’s good and sad.

Any way, my comment.

I really miss Grandma Yeast. I miss Grandpa too of course, but not as much as Grandma. Grandpa Yeast we too far gone by the time I knew him. All I had left was the shell of a grandparent and stories.

Grandma was a different story though. I didn’t have the time with her that you did, because I lived so far away. But I did the best I could with the time I did have. She and I were pen pals for awhile and we shared the two halves of a “best friend” necklace. They were simple gestures from my 8-year-old self. But I never doubted that she knew how important she was to me.

I remember Grandma’s bird. I remember Grandma’s bird singing along to Grandma’s keyboarding. Dear god how Grandma could play her keyboard. She loved it as much as she loved any of us and it really made her happy.

I remember asking her to make my doll a blanket. She was expecting this huge task and all I wanted was a little thing. 3 squares by 3 squares. Just big enough to cover the doll.

I don’t remember but my mom does, the time I asked her point blank if I could have a certain blanket she had made because I wanted something from her before she died. My exact words. Grandma nearly had a heart attack on the spot, but she gladly gave me the blanket I wanted. I don’t think she realized how special I’d consider such a gift. I was only 7 or so. To this day I have that blanket and my boys aren’t allowed near it. It’s the only blanket, besides the doll one, that I have from Grandma and I’d bust into a million pieces if anything ever happened to it.

Then there are the what ifs. What if she had lived long enough to see me as a teenager? Would she understand the whole Goth thing? No one else really did but I think she would. She’d at least do her best to try to. And now, with my blog… I think it would break her heart to read how much I hurt inside, but I know in my heart she’d read every word. On second thought, maybe it’s better she didn’t live to meet the adult me. I don’t think I could deal with knowing how much my inner hurt would hurt her. I know my mom can hardly handle it. And I think my mom is tougher than Grandma. She’s had to deal with more heart break. Maybe not though. Hard to tell comparing child memories to adult memories.

I remember the Grandma who took care of Grandpa. I remember asking her once if she loved Grandpa. I don’t remember her answer but I know it wasn’t an easy one. She couldn’t put that much work into caring for someone she didn’t love. But I do know she was held back for years by Grandpa and his needs.

I do remember and have heard stories about how she really seemed to come alive and live life after Grandpa passed. She was finally free and she took life by the horns.

I regret that my Grandma will never meet my boys. She’s love them and they’d love her. It just doesn’t seem fair.

As far as my kids and their grandparents… I think that’s one reason I don’t feel bad that my mom has the boys every weekend. If she ever needs a weekend off she takes it. But otherwise she has this great opportunity to really know her grandbabies and they will know her for all the rest of her life. Can you imagine the memories you’d have if you lived with Grandma Yeast 2/7th of your life? My mom was there to bare witness the first time my boys said Grandma. She’d seen first steps, heard first words. She’ll be there for all the sports events or school plays or band concerts. She’s kissed skin knees, caught leaps into the deep side of the pool, and taken the training wheels off of first bikes. She is in their life to the best of her abilities and my boys will grow up being close to her like I only wish I was able to be close to Grandma.

I’ll admit I’m a little jealous.

Alright so now that my comment is as long as your post, I’ll go ahead and end this. But anytime you are feeling nostalgic and went to talk about Grandparents, let me know. You’ll have my interest.

Mom, go read David’s post. His grandparents are your parents, after all.

6 Comments

  1. Comment by firstsoprano:

    Thanks for the warning, Karen, or I would have bawled my eyes out too like Bunny did. I agree with most of what the two of you said. I think she would have embraced the computer. Hell, if Bunny can, anyone can !! (Sorry sis). Keyboards are just different kinds of computers and she was a whizz at that. And I agree she'd accept the Goth side of you. She held so much pain inside of her that I think she'd really underestand. Thanks for sharing all of this. It's ironic cause I just found a book over for grandparents to fill out to give their kids and grandkids a glimpse into their history. I think I'll start working on it.

  2. Comment by She Who Is:

    She loved writing letters, email is all the faster.

  3. Comment by Dave:

    Thank you, Karen, for this post and for your comment. I do agree she would embrace the computer like crazy, and she would definitely see the "email can be an instant letter" idea, but I also think she'd delve into all of this other stuff, at least a little bit. I'm almost positive she'd have a Facebook account at the very least.

    There's no telling whether she would get bored by some of it (like Facebook, again), but I know she'd jump in and at least try it out.

    I would have loved to show it all to her and let her decide which ones she would try. I got a little of that feeling doing it with Mom, but I met a lot more resistance. LOL

  4. Comment by She Who Is:

    Neither were a problem. It dawned on me as I wrote my comment to your blog entry, that I wanted my readers to read it to. Best way to do that? Besides, as your mom loves to brag (*giggle*) you do have a way with words. So I didn't hesitate in sending my readers in your direction. Can't promise anyone other than my mom read it though.

  5. Comment by Dave:

    I suppose I can guess one of the things you two talked about during your long conversation. LOL

    Nobody's come by yet, but the day is young! Ok, no it isn't, but I still like being optimistic.

  6. Comment by She Who Is:

    We talked about a few things. But yes you did come up. lol

    Hey, I tried.

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