BPD Blog Borderline Personality Disorder

When White Lies Are The Way To Go

Posted May 21, 2015 By kmarrs

I try to go for a walk everyday.  Usually it’s at night, as late as the middle of the night.  Last Tuesday I took my walk at about 8:30PM and I invited my oldest with me.  There is a lot on his plate and I wanted him to have the chance to talk, which he did.

One of the first things that came up was girls,

*gulp*

It turns out there is a girl on his bus that he has his eye on and another girl in his class figured it out and told bus girl and basically asked her out for my boy without consulting if my boy actually wanted to go out with her.

Follow all that?

Ok.  The hitch of for the feminine plotting is that at almost 12, he has no interest in dating anyone.  Which thank you whatever power is watching over me.

So I taught him the first white lie of the night: “My mom won’t let me.”

In this case it’s, “My mom won’t let me date yet, but you can come over to my house and play sometimes if you want.”

He is out of the dating hot seat without hurting her feelings and without feeling pressure to be older than his 12 years.  Because dear God what the hell are 12-year-olds doing dating?

As the conversation continued I basically gave him the thumbs up to blame me saying no on any situation he didn’t want involved in.

That white lie becomes truth and changes to “My mom will kill me, have you MET her.” when it comes to drugs and alcohol.

Then I of course told him I’d rather have him be truthful to be when he’s older and experimenting with beer at parties.  As long as he drinks responsibly, I’ll be far happier over the “I need a ride home” phone call than the “He should have gotten a ride home” house call.

Id’ say he’s years away from there, but apparently not.  I’m just lucky (is this lucky?) that the situation with his aunt has taught him to be respectful of alcohol.  I don’t want him to fear it, I just need him to drink responsibly.

It was a good walk and talk.

 

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Nearly Wordless Wednesday

Posted May 20, 2015 By kmarrs

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My book requires a reference page with proper citation including in text citation. My former English professor would be hella proud of me.

P.S. That copy of I Hate You – Don’t Leave Me has been with me some 8 years since I was first diagnosed.

It still has my notes in it from my first read as I learned my diagnosis and how it really did fit.

I had a lot of lingering questions though.

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I Hate Words

Posted May 19, 2015 By kmarrs

old_book_clip_art_20190I mean, maybe not really, but writing a book is hard.

This isn’t a real blog post, I realize.

But I’m alive and well.  I’m physically healthy enough.  I’m mentally, well, better than I was a couple weeks ago.

All is well.

I hate words.

I’ll come up with something real in a few days.  Promise.

Maybe.

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The Walking the Borderline Weekender

Posted May 16, 2015 By kmarrs

Walking the Borderline Blog BPD Borderline Personality Disorder

I think one of my favorite things about the new house is the yard and neighborhood around it.  My desk backs up to 3 floor to ceiling windows offering me an easy view of the entire backyard and a chunk of the hood.

In relation to this, my 3-year-old is getting to spread her freedom wings a lot earlier than her siblings were allowed to.  With a view of the back yard in front of my, and the back door to my immediate right, she’s able to play out there with me watching from my desk.  She has no interest in leaving the backyard, because let’s face it, it’s a kick-ass backyard.  It’s safe out there, in a way that reminds me of growing up in the 80’s.

It’s kind of awesome to watch her explore her (controlled) freedom.

 

This week in my store:

Profits from my store go towards supporting my family.

Speaking of my store, you can find a link to the WTBL new items up along the top. It’ll take you here. I actually own the pink shirt. No joke, I love it! All items in the WTBL store are great ways to support the blog and my family at the same time!

 

Quote of the week:

Sammy: But why can’t I wear the other dress?

Me: Because it’s your special occasion dress.

Sammy: Like going to the doctor?

Me: No… Like Christmas.

 

In closing, this realization:

My husband is an ass.  I was actually out cold at a reasonable hour and he turned on the lights and shook me awake because he was alarmed I was wearing clothes.  I was wearing clothes because I had literally fallen face forward into bed and passed the fuck out because of how tired I was at like 7PM.

 

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Literary Time Travel

Posted May 15, 2015 By kmarrs

old_book_clip_art_20190This was due yesterday, which I thought was today, meaning I should have written this two days ago.  Though I couldn’t have because what I’m going to write about happened today for me, yesterday for you.

I blame the hormone imbalance of having started my period, but I’ve decided self publishing is way too easy as far as publishing itself goes, but horrid for any possible publicity.  So I’ve gone crazy-er and have decided to do this the old-fashioned, books smell pretty, way.  Of course I didn’t know exactly how one does this.  I still don’t.  But I do now know that the first step is to get a literary agent.  I basically need to convince them that my book is a great investment so that they can convince a publisher that my book is a great investment and then POOF published.  There is some magic in there.  And preying.

I’ve sent my Letter of Query, synopsis, a few chapters, and an author bio out to 10 different agents.  I have a list of many more I can try later.  However, I think I’m going to wait til I get these first 10 responses, see what they say, tweak my letter/synopsis/chapters/bio some, and then send to 10 new.

If all else fails I’ll look up the agents behind Twilight and 50 Shades.  I mean, come on.  If they can get published…

No.  That’s mean.  I mean they sold like crazy for their target market and made their agents very rich.

Who am I to knock that as a writer?

Now as a reader…

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Nearly Wordless Wednesday

Posted May 13, 2015 By kmarrs

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